Wells College

A minuscule former women’s, former liberal arts college, that really just doesn’t know what it wants to be right now. A premier destination for blue haired girls, Wells has handed out so many scholarships to stop the bleeding at admissions that they are perpetually a year away from getting shut down by big momma Pleasant Rowland, the O.G. of Aurora, NY. Wells College doesn’t really offer a college vibe, it’s more like a summer camp, which sounds nice, but they’re called summer camps for a reason, and the winters here are F-R-I-G-I-D (see brick on urban dictionary). Enjoy the striking combination of modern and Victorian architecture that almost makes Wells feel like a place of learning. A truly passionate staff of teachers are hear to help guide you until they get too fed up with the administration and leave for good! Meals here are shit. I was gonna write a joke, but straight up, they cannot cook. 7th worst dining hall in the country, look it up. Beautiful dining hall though, love the swastikas. Look forward to making friends with a colorful cast of weirdos and, jocks tricked into coming here, as you make memories, drink and get high, to stave off the isolation, depression, loneliness, anxiety that consumes this whole place. Oh, and one more thing, it’s haunted.

Person A: So where did you go to school

Person B: Wells, It’s a small school upstate, not many people no about , but actually we’re Cornell’s sister school.

Person A: Oh, Wellsey College, I’ve heard of that one.

Person B: No, Wells College

Person A: ...Wesleyan?

Person B: ...