Oboe

An oboe is a rare, double reed woodwind instrument. It is a pain in the ass to play, and everybody who plays it thinks that they are the greatest musician in their band, though they are mistaken at least 50% of the time. It is a stupidly complicated instrument; it has three different fingerings for one note and most times when you break it nobody will know how to fix it. Only people who can afford a $3,000 instrument and private lessons play the oboe and don't quit after a year. People who play the oboe are most commonly edgy, self-obsessed, antisocial, and in some sort of Honors or AP program. They will quit the band program if they are not first chair out of spite. Oboists are usually the smartest people, but also the most irritating to be around. An oboe can make a beautiful sound, but only if you can afford a $30 reed which has a tendency to break a day after you buy it. More commonly you'll hear them at concerts as that loud and obnoxious person everybody wishes would quit the band program but doesn't. Playing the oboe also requires the purchase of a shot glass and cigarette papers, so most people think that you're either an alcoholic or chronic smoker. It's not easy being an oboist.

The concert band had only one oboe because everybody kept quitting after a year.