Random
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Random
A fart - but more specifically a particularly loud, long and smelly fart.
Ell: Jeez whats that noise.....oh bloody hell someone open a door what IS that?
Livy: it's just Isa playing the bum trumpet - chill dad!
7👍 2👎
Stands for Old Witch Problems - when women of a more mature age start experiencing odd facial hair growth, disappearing eyebrows, thinning lips, hands resembling old leather and the need to wee every 10 minutes.
Mandy (whilst checking reflection in a mirror in bright daylight): OMG girls can you see my moustache and have I got a beard? Who do I resemble most Hitler or Saddam Hussein?
Livy: Hitler
Mandy: what about my beard?
Isa: Oh mum if I were you I'd worry more about your non-existent lips haha
Mandy: thanks girls you're both gonna have OWPs one day!
9👍 3👎
Stands for Beautiful Girl Problems
Isa: omg my eyebrows are so bad they desperately need threading
Livy: my skin is sooooo bad look how spotty I am
Mandy: OK Isa your eyebrows are fine you'd need a magnifying glass to see any strays no-one's looking at you thinking 'blimey I thought Frida Kahlo was dead' and Liv you've got 2 spots that are tiny - no-ones gonna ask you where you've left Esmeralda - jeez you girls and your BGPs.
1👍 1👎
Someone who is totally unable to handle more than 3 alcoholic drinks
Elliott: oh jeez what the hell is your mother doing she's dancing on top of the table - oh no hold on she's just collapsed and is now under the table
Isa: she must have had another drink you know what she's like she can't handle her booze at all
Livy: yeah she's a real 3 drink drunk
2👍 1👎
The etiquette of sending texts i.e. fairly short and to the point NOT over long or letter like.
(Phone bleeps signalling text)
Bev: oh shit I just got a text from Ruby it's so long I'm gonna need an hour to read it
Mandy: that woman has no idea of textiquette - ain't nobody got time to read that!
10👍 2👎
The condition you get when you're belly is so bloated that you have a combination of a (near to full term) food baby AND constipation
Ell: babe do you fancy some pizza or curry?
Me: I couldn't eat another thing after yesterday's foodfest - look at my belly I've got bad fonstipation
10👍 1👎