duck feet

n. Feet that are just too big, flat or awkward for regular walking. Shoes don't fit properly and dancing is impossible.

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Why don't you buy a skateboard dude? You are missing out on life and the babes think you're lame.

I got the duck feet.

Bummer. Wanna squish some grapes?

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houser

n. Stay-at-home partner in a relationship. Often used with pity or irony.

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Steve! Long time no see. How's work? No, wait a sec. You're a houser right? Well no shame there. Those clothes aren't going to clean themselves. What do you use for the really stubborn stains? Steve? Why are you crying?

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fucaled

v.To be thoroughly stopped, embarrassed, or thwarted in a scoring attempt.

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The Slovaks thought they were going to score on a breakaway but they were fucaled, badly.

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Stettler

place. Canadian town about to shake off its slumber and burst into the twentieth century. The party phone lines are being removed and the coal-fired steam train, filmed in many cowboy flicks and one of the few still in use in the civilized world, is on its last runs.

Mom and pop stores, self-taught hairdressers, and migrant labourer shacks will soon be replaced by fancy corporate establishments, and a name-brand eating place is in the planning stages.

First settled by Cree indians, Stettler was overrun in 1845 by Europeans who thought the area would prosper if they ran the place instead. They were wrong for over a century but discovery of major deposits of shale, sandstone, and fist-sized boulders in 1956 saved the town from absolute desolation as there was a niche use of these products in the concrete yard-novelty industry.

Grain farming and repairing asphalt are pursued locally and The Stettler Groundkeeper is purused avidly.

There are no significant sports teams, high schools, or marching bands but a horse rodeo is held quadrennially on the horse rodeoing grounds

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They make a lot of cowboy movies near Stettler don't they?

Yep. Don't have to change a thing.

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lobster

n. Horrible-looking multi-clawed crustacean prized as food by maritimers unable to access adequate supplies of beef.

By geeze there Billy. I could really go for some lobster claw soup just now, by here, eh, Billy me boy? Think I'll quay the dory and tie on a bib? How's by you?

Are you coming on to me?

duck deal

n. Any business transaction that makes millions for apparently aimless, non-executive types.

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Come on. We'll sell dad's beer cap collection and buy a roadside petting zoo. Weasels! Badgers! It'll be great!

Sounds like a duck deal.

Exactly. You in?

dory rower

n. Canadian expression for a fellow who's useless.

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That new deckhand be a right dory rower. I wouldn't want to rely on him to pull traps in a moisturizer.

Too right Bruce.

You from Australia?

Yeah. But not from Perth.

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