Jerk

1. A mean/heartless person.

2. More common: A guy who perfectly fits the gender stereotype, and is insensitive, controlling, and will treat women like sex objects. Though many women constantly complain about guys like that, most end up with one, because they didn't dig deeper and didn't try to see through the jerk's crap. Instead of going for a nice guy who will obviously be there for a girl, most girls choose what's right in front of them, a cold-hearted bastard who happens to look "macho", who is a big-time flirt and wears his penis on his sleeve.

1.
Billy Bob: Can I have a piece of candy? Please?
Joseph: Let me think about that... NO! WAAAHAHAHAHA!
Billy Bob: ...Jerk!

2.
Charlie: Hey, I heard Becca broke up with Tom...
Ernie: Yeah, she found out he was cheating on her.
Charlie: He sounds like a jerk.
Ernie: He is, but she bought all his shit instead of listening to us, and now she's asking why... kinda sad.
Charlie: Yeah, is sucks to be a nice guy, huh?
Ernie: Tell me about it.

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procrastination

Putting something that eventually must be done to the very last minute. Sometimes this method can be successful, and the person will get to spend a lot of time relaxing, and still get work done. Other times, however, it can lead to poor grades, incomplete work, etc. If one has a lot of work, it is understandable that the person will leave some for the last minute, although this person may be subject to adjectives such as lazy.

Me: Wow, I've got an 8 page history paper, a French project, a science lab, and a lot of other nightly homework... I'll do some now, but to avoid exhaustion, I'll have to use procrastination with the rest.

Ignorant person: You is lazy!

Me: And just how much work have you done this weekend?

Ignorant person: Uh...

Me: Hypocrite.

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brb

Short for brb, which some people use literally, and are gone anywhere from 3 seconds to 5 minutes. Some people, however, use it much more loosely, and will be gone for hours on end, and usually come back making a truly shitty excuse for why they were gone so long. Used mainly in IM conversations.

1. Proper usage
Person #1: LOL
Person #2: I'll brb, gotta take a shit
Person #1: kk
---1 minute later---
Person #2: k back
Person #1: coo

2. Improper usage
Person #2: LOL
Person #1: brb
Person #2: alright
---15 minutes later---
Person #2: ...hello...?
---45 minutes later---
Person #2: you there!?
---4 hours later---
Person #1: I'm BAAAAACK!
Person #2: What were you doing? Scratching your genitals?
Person #1: NO! Never, I would never ignore you! I was... uh... painting my toenails?
Person #2: psssh *signs off*

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Atheist

One who does not personally believe in a deity or God. Though some do fully deny the possibility of a God, many simply do not believe in one personally, and accept that others do. A group that faces a lot of discrimination, perhaps the most after Jews.

Atheist: Hello, I am an Atheist.

Tolerant Christian: Sup dude.

Intolerant Christian: Demon! Filth! Urchin! You're in denial of the omnipresent, wonderful God!

Tolerant Christian: Dude, please shut up, you're giving us a bad na-

Intolerant Christian: THEY'RE THE REASON THE WORLD SUCKS! THEY HAVE NO MORALS! GOOD THING I'M GOING TO HEAVEN AND FUCKERS LIKE THAT ARE GOING TO HELL!

Atheist: Actually, I do have morals, I believe killing is wrong, and-

Intolerant Christian: OF COURSE KILLING IS WRONG, IT'S IN THE 10 COMMANDMENTS!

Atheist: I don't follow the Bible though, because I actually
believe killing is wrong myself, I don't need to be ordered to by a "deity".

Intolerant Christian: THAT'S IT, I'M BRINGING MY FRIENDS OVER TO LYNCH YOU, MOTHERFUCKER!

Tolerant Christian: ...I hate myself.

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sexist

Noun: One who views their gender as superior to the other. This can go from men to women and from women to men. (maybe from men to men and women to women?)

Adj: Being discriminatory in some way against a gender.

1.
A. Reed claimed that women only exist for sex and to serve men by working in the kitchen. He is a sexist.

B. Sally claimed that men are pieces of useless garbage that only care about sex and are walking dildos. She is also a sexist.

2. You will find that most definitions of the words man and woman on this site are sexist.

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Nice guy

The kind of guy who would always be there for a girl, and would never let her down, cheat on her, treat her like shit, etc. The kind of guy that will actually listen to a girl and her problems, and try to help her. And most of these guys, despite the stereotype, still do stand up for themselves, will NOT let someone push them around, and are NOT wimps.

It would seem that girls would race for these kind of guys, but since physical attraction is in truth, just as important to most women as it is to most men, most girls just go for the guy closest to them who acts "tough" and masculine" and is handsome, and will totally ignore the nice guy. And then they'll complain to the nice guy about how they got cheated on and treated like shit, and ask why. Not all girls are like this, but the vast majority, like guys, never dig deeper than the surface and cling on to what they consider "masculine" and go for it.

Nice guy (let's call him N): Hi, I'm always here to help you.
Jerk (let's call him J): Hey sexy, I can beat up any fucker that messes with me!
Blind (mentally, not physically, and let's call her B) girl: Oooh! Hey, J! That is sooooo sexy!
J: Tight. Let's get wild.

---two days later-----
N: So what exactly happened to you?
B: *sniff* he cheated on me, and then called me a stubborn bitch!
N: Awww, that jerk. Well don't worry, you can always talk to me.
B: thank you *sniff*
N: So do you want to hang out sometime?
B: Sorry I got a date with this other guy, who is really hot, and-
N: Oh great, thanks for returning the favor.
B: Anytime! Bye!
N: Wait a minute! Oh shit, she hung up.

***Girls, please give nice guys a chance, or this scenario will keep happening!!!****

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double standard

Mathematically speaking, the obnoxious idea that it's OK for 56 to insult 82, but it's NOT OK for 82 to insult 56. Of course, 56 and 82 can be replaced with many different races, religions, etc.

#1:
A man sleeps with numerous women: Considered OK
A women sleeps with many men: Considered NOT OK

#2:
A woman physically hurts a man because she feels abused: ACCEPTED
A man physically hurts a woman because he feels abused: NOT ACCEPTED

#3:
A white person is successful: Assumed to be because of HARD WORK
A black person is successful: Assumed to be because of AFFIRMATIVE ACTION

#4:
A black person does poorly on a standardized test: Assumed to be because of BIAS in the test
A white person does poorly on a standardized test: Assumed to be because of LAZINESS, LACK OF EFFORT, etc.

#5:
A Christian is a very strong believer and mentions his love of God: Viewed as HEALTHY and PASSIONATE

An Atheist is very strong in his belief of no God: Viewed as CRAZY, CONFUSED, MISLEAD, etc.

#6
An Atheist views Christians as unaccepting as a group: Viewed as NORMAL and is ACCEPTED

A Christian views Atheists as unaccepting as a group: Viewed as being UNFAIR and DOGMATIC

...I could go on forever. Point is: DOWN WITH DOUBLE STANDARDS! People aren't that different, and double standards only enforce all kinds of discrimination! GRRRR...

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