Devilicious

An act that's both devilish and delicious at the same time. Such as getting your own back on someone by coating their face in superglue and rice krispies whilst they are sleeping. Evil, yes, but soooo worth it.

"She cried when she saw she had no eyebrows, but that just made it even more devilicious! HA! Bitch"

22👍 3👎

Dick Enemy

A guy who always tries to get the same girls as you, and often manages. Your sexual histories contain a lot of the same names, and you hate and fear one another, yet oddly respect your equal potential for ho wrangling. If you ever encounter one another at a urinal, you will both sneakily try to glimpse each other's equipment, to assess the enemy's capabilities. You will never again talk to female friends who bed your rival.

You should never engage in a threesome with your dick enemy, no matter how hot the girl is, as you would likely half kill her through your mutual need to prove yourself the best, and then end up almost killing one another in a fight.

You can't shag Lewis, he's Rosco's dick enemy- he'll never talk to you again

13👍 1👎

Chipmunk Cheeks

Male camel toe. When the seam of the trousers rides up and digs into the scrotum, seperating the testicles so that one is on each side of the offending seam. Thus creating a visual display that is reminiscent of a chipmunk with its cheeks stuffed with food, but not in the slightest bit cute. When it happens suddenly, it is accompanied by an instant look of discomfort and the need to slope off and rearrange ones giblets.

"Guys, wait here, I'm just going round the corner to sort out these chipmunk cheeks"

"Can you SEE that bloke on the barstool?? Look at the chipmunk cheeks! How can he not feel that??"

23👍 16👎

Unfucktionate

1)A situation where all was not well, sexually. This can apply to a dry spell or a sex session that went totally wrong

2) An individual who either never gets laid, or is appalling at it.

1) "I didn't pull last night, AGAIN. I'm going through a really unfucktionate time of late"

"Laura puked when she tried deep throating me. That was unfucktionate.

2) "That creepy guy who lives with his parents and wears white knee socks is so unfucktionate"

"So I finally went to bed with Steve, only to find out that the dude is crazily unfucktionate"

19👍 6👎

Fitch

What dogs in South Africa (pronounced "Sauth Ifrikka" by South Africans) do when you throw them a stick or a ball.

"Fitch, boy! Fitch it!!!"

50👍 37👎

Raisin Factory

An old people's home. So named because they go in all healthy and plump, and come out all dried and shrivelled, in a box.

"Mum and Dad sent Nana off to the raisin factory. It's called a Retirement Village. It's where you retire from having a life"

16👍 2👎

Bessfriend

Comes from the way pissed up folk say "best friend." To be a "bessfriend" for any length of time is incredibly unfortunate. You attain this dreaded status by having a drunken person latch onto you and tell you all their problems, cry on your shoulder and generally kill your groove. Several times, through hiccups and sobs about ex partners, you will hear the words "You're like my bessfriend, you are." Note- you don't even have to really KNOW this person to be their bessfriend for the night.

The worst bessfriend situations occur when they are members of the opposite sex. You either get cock blocked or pussy locked all night by the weepy eyed, wretched looking individual clinging desperately to your wrist.

"Why didn't you come to the club last night? We all wondered where you got to. Did you go home?"

"No such luck. Some mental bitch in Yates's decided to make me her "bessfriend" for the night, and I just could NOT shake her!"

10👍 2👎