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Lowes before Hos

When a man prefers the company of his tools, hotrod upgrades or home improvement projects over the company of women.

Hey honey, do you want to the mall? Nah, I gotta date with a case o' beer and my car upgrades. These aren't going to install themselves. You're always under you car! When are you going to spend time with me? Lowes before hos baby... Lowes before hos.

by Mattyboyee October 2, 2008

17πŸ‘ 3πŸ‘Ž


Filter fucked

1. When one is so wasted that their filter (liver and kidneys) are in fact fucked. Persistent states of filter fucked can result in Keith Richards like bodily function or the lack thereof bearing the need for dialysis.

2. When you have embibed so much alcohol that you light the wrong end of your cigarette.

3. When the filter between your brain and your mouth fails to function.

1. I got so filter fucked last night I woke up yellow and my pee stunk like burnt coffee.

2. Filter fuck ME! Gimme another cigarette...

3. Sorry babe, didn't mean to say that Taylor Swift would be worth going to jail for, my filter's fucked.

by Mattyboyee June 29, 2008

5πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


sadie rotten crotch

Term used to describe the state of crotch chafing. Abrasions on thighs and groin caused by sand from a beach, rough clothing material, and fat legs on a long walk. Not unlike sand in the vagina or grit-nuts and sandpaper crack.

Dude, I've got the worse case of sadie rotten crotch, I'm walkin' like I just got off of cross country horse-back ride.

by Mattyboyee May 28, 2003

21πŸ‘ 15πŸ‘Ž


Orificetra

A flatulently melodic group of people creating music with their orifices. The most impressive pieces of music are created by the corn eye by drinking brews and having eggs for breakfast. Nothing is more potent than beer farts combined with the forces of egg farts. Use of a clothespin or gas mask may be necessary when enduring a live performance of an orificetra.

All us back in Geek Squad had mad swamp ass from that air conditioner being broken and gas from drinkin beer the night before, we were all tooting from our fart boxes creating music as an Orificetra. We played the brown note sonata which was finished by a solo from the Schocker in high notes from his well tuned corn flute.

by Mattyboyee December 20, 2007

9πŸ‘ 7πŸ‘Ž


cunt bullet

The cotton drain plug used to block the red tides from washing up onto the cunnilingual shores of the clitoral and labial beaches. The little white bullet that goes into the barrel of the baby cannon. The licker's quicker picker upper. Stops the aquisition of redwings; a term coined for the plasma mustache begotten from chowing the putang of a girl on the rag. Riding the cotton pony.

Did you see that chick's g-string? Yeah that's not the only string I saw. She must be wearing a cunt bullet. Rip tide fellas!!

by Mattyboyee February 14, 2006

84πŸ‘ 20πŸ‘Ž


pancake nipple

Areola or tissue around the nipple of gargantuan proportions, see silver dollars. Not to be confused with flap-jack tits which is a natural phenomenon of pendulous and flabby tits looking like 5 pounds of shit in a ten pound bag see hangers..

That bitch was fine, but her pancake nipples are fucking nasty! Her pancake nipples resembled parabolic satellite dishes.

by Mattyboyee May 28, 2003

195πŸ‘ 78πŸ‘Ž


Yorn

How ghetto kids say "yours." Made popular by downtown Philadelphia ghetto boys.

Get yo hands off my shit that aint yorn!
That's my candy it aint yorn.

by Mattyboyee October 15, 2008

20πŸ‘ 22πŸ‘Ž