blog

A page on the interweb, regularly updated by someone who, ostensibly, can find nothing better to do with their time.

In the past these were used as a form of diary, where the individual responsible for the blog would bitch about their daily activities. Though often incredibly banal, this could be interesting, in a voyeuristic, and rather unwholesome manner.

The recent trend, however, is for bloggers to merely reproduce news stories that they heard on the mainstream press or other blogs, and either make a brief, badly-informed comment on the story, or link to a brief, badly-informed comment on another blog. This has led to the blogosphere increasingly resembling a gigantic, electric circle jerk.

"I keep up-to-date on the news of the day by reading blogs, all of which are witty and well-informed. (I am number one jerk.)"

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meatside

The real world: the traditional, physical world that exists outside the internet. The tangible realm in human/computer interaction.

1. Jenny spent six weeks chatting online to a guy. When she met him meatside, it transpired that he was much older than she had been led to believe, and he tried to touch her in bad ways.

Batiste

Something supposed to improve the situation, which in fact just make matters worse.

After famous Schwarzkopf brand of spray-on dry shampoo, which makes ones hair far more greasy and unkempt than it ever was before. Often considered a good idea for backpackers, who can't wash their hair properly, its actual use never fails to come as a nasty surprise.

1. I used Batiste shampoo once, when I was travelling in Germany; I spent a whole day in Aachen with hair like a homeless man.

2. "That advice you gave to Belinda, that was so batiste. She hasn't stopped crying since."

3. After Iraq, everyone agreed that America's foreign policy was extremely batiste.

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