texting the water

Texting your friend a cautious 'Hey' when you haven't heard from them in an unusually long time, in order to check that they're not pissed off with you.

Often results in 1) a responding 'Hey' if clear of blame, or 2) pointed silence from the other party if you are guilty of an unknown offence.

Person A: Hey
Person B: YO WASSUP BRUH, AIN'T HEARD FROM YA IN DIZZAYS. HOW U BEEN MAN.
Person A: Soz man, was just texting the water to make sure you weren't mad at me for throwing up in your pool the other night. Glad we're cool

Person C: Hey
(No reply from Person D).

Additional information - Person C hooked up with Person D's sister and then never called her.

Facebook fascist

n. A person who feels a keen sense of moral outrage when they see Facebook statuses of other people which they deem to be unworthy of their attention.

Such people will often then (some might say ironically) post Facebook statuses expressing their contempt.

Person A: YAY SNOW! Back to bed for me then :D (24 likes)

Person B : Woo it's snowing! (12 likes)

Facebook fascist X: LAIK OMG GUYZ ITZ ONLY SNOW, ITZ NOT LIKE WE DIDN'T SEE IT WHEN IT SNOWED 5 YRS AGO SO WOULD EVERYONE CALM THE FUCK DOWN WITH THE SNOW STATUSES, YOU'RE TOTALLY SHITTING ALL OVER MY NEWS FEED WITH YOUR INANE BABBLE. (0 likes)