dufus

A kindly way of saying that one is stupid. Certainly much nicer than calling someone a fuckwit, anyway.

"You dufus! Click the Print button if you wanna print, not the Close button!"

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McCinsey

The absolute worst form of something. The opposite of the Real McCoy - if it's the Real McCinsey, you're fucked mister!

"This pizza is total McCinsey! I want my money back, bitch!"

mangle

1. A Victorian device used for drying clothes.

2. To wreck or distort by applying force to it. For example, a colleague at work frequently mangles the English language by trying to speak it.

1. "I say, Edward! Have you ran my bloomers through the mangle yet, what?"

2. "I would like one pint of biter peas."

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adn

Frequent mispelling of the word "and" and therefore, possibly the most annoying word you'll ever read when going over your work. Apart from "teh".

"Round adn round they went... oh, FUCK IT!"

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machoegotist

One who suffers from the terrible afflication known as machoegotism. Can also be used as an insult, meaning one who is a twat.

"That Paul is a complete machoegotist!"

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goodie-two-shoes

Someone who always does what's right and not what they're supposed to do.

"That goodie-two-shoes grassed up his own mother! The little bastard..."

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tube

1. A round, cylindical object.

2. The London Underground.

3. Medical term for a totally unneccesary breast examination, usually applied to the person asking for it.

1. "Pass me a tube of loo-roll."

2. "I'll take the Tube to work this morning."

3. "Dr Marsh, we have a TUBE fo you in ward three. Enjoy!"

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