Foof n poof

Hipster speak for a shart, when a seemingly innocuous foof unexpectedly follows through with a poof.

May also refer to the sex act of being farted and pooped on.

Me: “Dave, that sounded like a foof n poof”
Dave: “Sorry man. I better go change my undies”

Wetulance

The liquid state of flatulance, midway between solid and gaseous states.

“Dude, that napalm hot curry has given me a bad case of wetulance”

Mons

The female pubic mound, short for ‘mons pubis’. Also known as pooch, snatch hatch and vag hanger.

Danny: Man, look at the mons on her. That’s a mons royale.
Bobby: Sure is. Hope it’s not a mons royale with cheese.

Noob Lube

Metaphorical pain relieving ointment for middle-aged gamers. Specifically formulated to relieve the discomfort of being brutally killed (most commonly by a teenager) within seconds of deploying into FPS war zone.

Jake: Right, get ready boys, we’re going to kick some….
Raymond: Motherfucker, some arsehole just one-shotted me. I hadn’t even hit the ground
Carl: Thank god for the noob lube!
Raymond: It still stings the ring
Jake: Is that toxic?

Lizard Face

A term sometimes used to deride a woman, most commonly a celebrity. Often used by women in response to their husbands or partners daring to suggest (or even think) said woman is attractive.

Fanny: “What movie did you boys choose?”
Jock: “The Wolf of Wall Street”
Fanny: “I’m not fucking watching that lizard face whore get her fish box out”
Jock: “But, I like…”
Fanny: “She stinks like sardines”
Raymond: “Geez, give Jock a break…”
Fanny: “You can shut the fuck up too with your crush on that geriatric lizard faced Aliens bitch!”