Edward Cullen

1. FICTIONAL sparkly pansy vampire whose only purpose of being is to drop the panties of any girl dumb enough to actually think this fuck is romantic and sexy.

2. Stephanie Meyer's dream man. She fucks him in her sleep because she doesn't get enough loving from her family.

3. Abusive vampire thing who is apparently made of stone or marble or some sort of beautiful white rock.

1. OH EDWARD CULLEN, TAKE ME NOW BECAUSE I'M 13 AND STUPID!!!1!!1ONEONEONE!!11!1!1

2. Stephanie Meyer: TAKE ME NOW, EDWARD CULLEN! MARRY ME!!!!

3. Guy: "How'd you get that bruise?"
Twitard: "I was reading Twilight and I was just so turned on by Edward Cullen that I just HAD to bruise myself too! He's cold like marble, you know."
Guy: ".....I'm not fucking you ever."

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