Poo-Lard

Poo-lard is a hangry being, his super tasting abilities are through the roof. He does not believe in the Green Party as free education is for people who want to pay more than a loonie for a bud light. Poo-Lard is a horny fuck who is found most of the time wanking dry in his blue muscle shirt.
“Give this to my family incase if we die”
-general poo-lard
“My water is much tastier than the H2O of lord dortis - Aqua Poo-lard
“Free education is bullshit, we should have to pay for school”-political Poo-lard

Do not bring up the Green Party or poo-lard will use his super tasting ability’s to fuck ur mom.

Jackson malone

It’s in my brain........... Paul byron

Jackson malone is coursins with Karl malone

Lord dortis

Lord dortis will devour any edible food item in his path. He loves using big adjectives and being the manager. Here are some of his most classic scriptures

“Are you going to eat that” dortis 11.2.23
“The leafs suck” dortis 7.11.42

Lord dortis loves getting paid to wipe the elderly.