Checkout Drama

The inevitable delay when you are in a hurry, caused by the clown in front of you having issues with paying for their things. Very common in Walmart and 7-11, less prevalent in Home Depot or Cosco.

(drama person, pick one or more)
| why WON'T it take my card, I got all kind of money on it...
| OK, then try THIS credit card...
| Muthafucker, that IS my PIN number ...

(you)
Aw Jeezus H Christ, I don't need this Checkout Drama. FML.

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postsantum depression

The incredible letdown some folks experience when they realize Christmas is over

(typical Monday after Christmas office discussion)

Holy hell, why is Michelle ragging it with me?

It's not just you, she's got a bad case of postsantum depression.

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redneck savings account

The intentional act of having too much income tax witheld from your pay, in order to get a big fat refund check at filing time.

Done by stupid people who don't realize they're giving the government an interest free loan all year.

Billy Bob: Got mah tax refund today - six hunnert some bucks!

Melissa: Ahhhh, you cashed in your redneck savings account.

Billy Bob: Huhhh?

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fuck me gently with a chainsaw

First used (?) in "Heathers" http://imdb.com/title/tt0097493/ , probably more close to meaning "well, I'll be damned" or "Well, kiss my ass".

Heather Chandler: Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?

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Lo'steem Screen

The extra viewfinder now found on the front of digital cameras. It exists for those who can't get through a day without taking a picture of themselves.

D: Did you see April's new camera, it's got the Lo'steem Screen that's the latest feature

B: Oh shit, now EVERY picture of her vain ass will be perfectly composed.

D: Yep. No more editing out the bad ones, she'll have more time left to tell us how hot she is.

$1

Giving credit for something, usually a line of dialogue, use of a word in a particular situation, or a concept. Giving props to the person you just quoted. Popularized in 90's Usenet newsgroup lingo, still used occasionally by old schoolers in the know.

so I said to him, 'if you ain't talkin' to me, who the fuck are you talin' to?" ($1 DeNiro)

Screw you guys, I'm goin home. ($1 Cartman)

So of course, while the car is stalled in the intersection, don't I get cited for obstructing a fire truck. ($1 Murphy's Law)

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Three Part Pussy Shot

Any alcoholic shot or drink that has more than two ingredients. A great way to slow an already busy bar to a dead stop. Ordered and consumed more often than not by women.

The place was busy, two bartenders running their asses off. Fred thought he was getting close to being served, but then the group next to him had the bartender rounding up the RumChata, Vodka, fruit juice, pixie dust., etc. "Shit. She has to make four Three Part Pussy Shots, I'll be here forever."

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