runtards

footwear: those stupid looking rubber socks with toes that some runners actually run in.

Look at that runtard running in those stupid runtards

porous

a declaration by an uneducated person intended to indicate something is negative, as in "poor".

You got fired from your job for eating chips, even though you were a little high and needed something crunchy? That shit's straight porous!

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deerkey

Those ridiculously short deer found in upstate NY that, at first glace, look like a donkey.

Holy shit look at that donkey on Becky's lawn! There are wild donkies around here? Oh wait, it's actually a deer. What a freak. It's a deerkey.

soulrot

The condition resulting from spending too much time without music, or listening to anything by a king/queen of "pop"; the immediate result upon hearing the crooning crazy yelling screeching stupid characters of reality TV

Dude 1: Dude what's that putrid smell and why are you such a fricking mopey sloth?
Dude 2: Soulrot. My wife keeps the TV turned to "Real Housewives..."
Dudes 1, 3 and 4 and the next table over who are eavesdropping together: Shit, Joe Cocker STAT!

I don't know if

A passive aggressive way to avoid actually asking a question directly.

Also: A passive aggressive technique to make an assertion, give direction, make a suggestion.

I don't know if you're going to take out the trash. It's in the garage.

I don't know if you like your shoes with that outfit.

I don't know if you wanted that chicken sauce on your shirt.

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