Nipplegänger

People who share identical looking nipples.

“Ja’Ronla, if we don’t find an act today for the Rev's retirement party, someone’s going to lose their job, and it’s not going to be me. Bring me in one more juggler or one more ventriliquist and I’m going to puke. Surprise me, damn it. New!”

...
...

“This is Ziralee, and this is Ashley. They are nipplegängers.”

“Doppelgängers? I'm not seeing it.”

“No, no. Not doppelgängers. Nipplegängers. Ladies?...”

...

“Well now, so you are. So you are.”

C'est fromage

Fake-for-fun mistaken pronunciation of the french term “C’est domage,” meaning “That’s too bad.”

Fromage is the french word for cheese.

The fun part of it is saying it in context and deadpan sincerity. You say it in mixed company that includes at least one person who knows some french.

When they hear you say, “Oh well, c’est fromage” they instantly notice that your attempt to throw in a little french for conversation colour... failed in a way that is funny to hear, but could prove to be embarrassing if they point it out to you.

However, people don’t want to embarrass other people. But because “c’est fromage” enters the brain so quickly as a funny error, most people don’t have time to stop their little chuckle at your expense. Then they are kind of forced to explain why they are laughing at you.

So it’s an impishly fun way to watch people squirm a little with how to react to you as they try to figure out whether or not your mistake was intentional. It usually shows you how natural and honest someone feels while they are with you.

“Oh well. C'est fromage.”
“C’est fromage? That’s cheese?”
“What did I say? Fromage? Oh jeez, I meant domage.”
“No you didn’t.”
“No, I didn’t.”

42👍 6👎

Grands

Grandchildren, abbreviation for.

“So, how old are your grands now?”

“Five and seven. Ya, y' know they're pert’ near too grow'd up to hire out for chimney sweeps.”

“Tsk. Chawnel, that’s just terrible! You’re not serious.”

“Probly not.”

50👍 25👎

jungle cock

reference to a monkey penis or an extreamly large african's dong

I love junkle cock in my butt

36👍 23👎

Skype daddy

A divorced or separated dad who communicates on Skype with his kids, who primarily live with their mom.

Biomom: “Jerry calls the girls every night now after dinner.”

Biomom’s divorced confidente: “I thought you don’t even answer the phone if you see it’s him.”

Biomom: “No, he skypes them during homework time.”

Confidente: “Ahh. Ya my Roger was a skype daddy too. It’s a phase.”

e pluribus punim

American Latin: “From a sea of meeskite, a hottie.”

I’m gonna book, guys, this is definitely a dead zone. Whoa, check it out, over by the door: e pluribus punim.

32👍 2👎

Overworker

Salaried employee who intentionally works extra unpaid hours, and makes sure management notices.

“That Madison of yours, isn't she quite the overworker. Looks like you’ve got yourself a real keener there.”

“You know what, here's the thing: I really can’t tell if she gets any more done than anyone else on that team. What I do know is I have to pay the cleaning staff overtime to not finish the washroom til she goes home. So annoying. When we cut down next month, she’s first to go.”