titchie

1)to be shoeless and snaggle-toothed with straggly red hair and gropey unwashed hands.
2)An under-emphasized flavor in fine wine.
3)The warbling of arm fat on the interstate.

1)She offered to play tonsil-hockey with me, but I was thinking she was a mite too titchie fer me. Her titchie hands were fast on the Johnson like crows on roadkill.
2)I'm not saying the Cabernet did not finish exquisitely. I'm just suggesting that the dingleberry was a bit titchie.
3)I was very upset to be coming home for the holidays, but was calmed by the sweet serenade of Aunt Edna's titchie.

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Alice's Lunch

The act of shitting in a lunch box instead of making a healthy meal. Frequent occurrence on the Popular American Television show, "The Brady Bunch."

Peter Brady opened up his Scooby Doo Lunch box to the undeniable pungency of Alice's Lunch. He tossed the fetid pile at Buddy Hinton, who was just glad it wasn't a bowl of her famous hershey squirts. Alice was always had a couple of zingers ready, that was for sure.

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Break the water line

A dump which is able to support itself and rise above the typical average water level in a toilet. An outstanding achievement, the performer is encouraged to bring others in to witness. Photographs do not have the same impact.

He was able to break the water line with a single chute of feces. They carried from the field that day.

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the professor

The ruse of having a guy come over to fix something, with the real intention of having sex with him. Much the same way Marianne, Ginger, Mrs. Howell, and the Skipper, used to play the Professor on the ol' TV classic Gilligan's Island.

Elaine worked the professor on Newman. She had him come over to fix her mail slot, and he delivered all over her.

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cell phone

Small silver block that characters on detective television shows,all the CSIs, and "House" pull out of their pockets when the writers can't get off the bong long enough to come up with a better plot device. This cube magically give the characters the next surprising clue which allows the story to dangle or move to its surprise ending, depending on how close to the end of the hour it is. See DNA EVIDENCE

Plot direction:
Caruso:I'll see you in hell/jail/syndication.
(reach into pocket for cell phone) Caruso (pause, adjust glasses, or draw back sport coat to get good handle on waist). I'm coming in.
Peripheral Snarky CSI Staffer: Who was that?
Caruso: They found-the murder weapon/killer/a time slot for CSI Des Moines.

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talking points

Political and Moral sign posts for the walking dead.

1) I tried to reason with my mother but it seemed her entire vocabulary had been reduced to a few trite talking points she had heard from the Bills (O'Reilly and Crystal). I had learned to aim for the head when shooting zombies, and now was no time for mistakes.
2) The make-up man did a remarkable job of hiding the bite wounds on the president, but that odd speech rhytm and blathering talking points were a dead give-away. The camera hid the mangled hand, but you could see the rotting flesh on the live feed.

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albee beck

The name of Arnold Schwarzenegger's grade school lover from his early days in Austria. During the filming of "The Terminator," AS was reported to be still distraught, even years later, over the bitter ending of this romance, and was forever uttering the boy's name. James Cameron, in perhaps one of the most brilliant moments in cinema history, decided to put one outtake into the film, where they were adjusting the lighting, and Arnold was waiting simply waiting on his mark for the next take. This moment captured on film is perhaps the quintessential expression of Man's existential aloneness in the universe, and AS's eventual destruction of the set in the name of Albee seems only fitting in retrospect.

Albee Beck had a tight ass, back in der Tag.

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