parkanoia

That dread you feel when you can't find where you parked your car and you realize it may have been stolen (usually occuring soon before you find your car, but not so soon that those moments of pulse-quickening worry, which seem stretched to infinite length, haven't done their damage to your nerves and shortened your lifespan by about an hour).

What the--? I left it right here. Didn't I? Sure, I did, 'cuz it was near the...oh, wait, is that where I went in? It looks just like... Hell, they all look like--well, I'll check the upper level and, uh, no, not there. I'm sure I parked it right over by the--oh, no, now I know! It's the lower level. Yeah, 'cuz I had to take the stairs, and...um...wait, that's not right either. What the hell?! Oh, my god... Omigod, omigod, omigod, my car has been STOLEN! It's finally happened to me!! Why does everything have to happen to me!!! Jesu--oh, there it is. Whew. Heh. Ha, ha! Parkanoia!

Heavage

When an amply bosomed woman breathes deeply and quickly as out of fear, arousal or some other excitement so that her propped-up, pushed-together, plunging-neckline-revealed chest rises and falls vigorously, drawing attention to her heaving cleavage.

We burst into her bedchambers, and at once we could tell that Dracula had just been there seconds before, as evidenced by the dear, tormented lady's wild eyes, languid lips and the violently pumping heavage that threatened to tear the delicate threads of her gossamer nightgown asunder!

43👍 30👎