PornPad

An iPad that gets used most often for watching internet Porn, and vigorous self-pleasuring.

My wife woke me up at 3AM with the yummy sounds she was making while playing with herself and watching girl-porn on her PornPad.

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Fuckdiculous

(Adj.) 1) Portmanteau word formed from "fucking" & "ridiculous," describing something SO unreasonably absurd, that calling it "ridiculous" is far beyond inadequate for adjectival usage; or, 2) Through-the-looking-glass idiotic.

1) My landlord hasn't fixed the hot water for 5 days! That's just fuckdiculous!

2) That guy I REALLY hate at work used me for a reference when applying for his new job: that's fuckdiculous!

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Technotard

A person who has a significant conceptual, behavioral, or intellectual impairment that makes it impossible for them to understand or use even the most rudimentary of electronic devices.

Jack can't even program his remote control or the speed dial in his cell phone--what a technotard!

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Dickweed

1) A completely self-absorbed, useless asshole with shit for brains;

2) A person so irredeemably stupid that their idiotic behavior causes pain to everyone that they interact with.

My neighbor's such a fucking dickweed.

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Shtork

A peculiar type of long, wet fart that can only made while engaged in the mutual joys of picking your nose and taking a huge dump. It makes you laugh hard--the ultimate multi-task.

I heard Steve's loud shtork through the bathroom walls and he laughed so hard that he fell off the bowl!

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Squinch

Squeezing and pinching at the same time while taking a huge dump to compress it so that it doesn't rip your asshole on the way out.

The pain made me squinch just in time, or I would have had to get a chopstick to dig that turd out.

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Shtuppalotopuss

(adj.) 1--A guy so notoriously horny that the crack of dawn isn't safe around him.

(noun) 2--A guy who manages to get far too much female attention, resulting in a largely disproportionate number of women having intercourse with him.

Don't ever invite Mike to your Perv Parties--he'll be trying all night to poke every woman there, that Shtuppalotopuss!

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