glutened

(verb, past tense)
When someone who has celiac disease, or is living a gluten free lifestyle, accidentally consumes any substance containing enough gluten to make them ill.

INT. LAB - AFTERNOON

Dr. Johnson, Dr. Rye, and Dr. Barleywheat are scientists in a lab, looking over a top secret laser project they are working on, when suddenly Dr. Johnson bends over in pain.

DR. BARLEYWHEAT
What's wrong, Johnson? Johnson. Johnson!

Dr. Johnson does not respond, and sinks down to the floor.

DR. BARLEYWHEAT
Doctor Rye, what's wrong with Doctor Johnson?

DR. RYE
I have no idea.

DR. BARLEYWHEAT
What do you mean you haven't got any idea? Does she have any illnesses? Any medical concerns?

Dr. Johnson groans in pain on the ground.

DR. RYE
(frantically)
Illnesses? I don't know. I don't know!

Dr. Rye begins to hyperventilate. Dr. Barleywheat grabs Dr. Rye and slaps him twice across the face.

DR. BARLEYWHEAT
Get yourself together, Doctor Rye! Think, damn it!

Dr. Rye's eyes widen.

DR. RYE
Oh wait! She told me a few weeks ago that she has some kind of
disease! Celiac disease!

Dr. Barleywheat rubs his chin in thought, then cocks his head suspiciously.

DR. BARLEYWHEAT
So she's a celiac, heh? Say, Doctor Rye, what did you two have for
lunch today? Quick! Her life could depend on it!

DR. RYE
Sushi! We had sushi!

Dr. Barleywheat's eyes widen.

DR. BARLEYWHEAT
Did you happen to have soy sauce with your sushi?

DR. RYE
Yes, why? What does that matter?

Dr. Barleywheat drops his head, then slowly looks up.

DR. BARLEYWHEAT
My God. It's just as I thought.

DR. RYE
What?! What is it?!

DR. BARLEYWHEAT
Somebody call a doctor. She's been glutened!

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FISHAN

Acronym: (Fuck I'm Shitting Here And Now) Word used to describe the moment in time where you are hit (usually inconveniently) by an overwhelming need to shit.

Truck Driver: Looks ahead and sees the "100 miles to next stop" sign on a cross-country drive. All of the sudden his eyes widen.Truck Driver slowly looks to hitchhiker in the passenger seat. Hitchhiker looks back at Truck Driver, a fearful look washes over his face. Hitchhiker has dreaded this very moment his whole life, ever since his second grade teacher refused to give him the bathroom pass during class, resulting in the most embarrassing and emotionally scarring popcorn reading session of his existence.

Hitchhiker closes his eyes. A single tear rolls down his cheek. Truck Driver's mouth opens in slow motion...
"Fishan."

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