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A Christmas Spam is a popular Christmas treat in England in many middle to lower income households.
When all the presents are bought for the children, the house is decorated and the old man got jipped out of his Christmas bonus ... there's no money left in the kitty for a turkey or ham so mom has to go out and buy a couple cans of Spam for the Christmas day meal. She boils up a few potatoes, cooks up some squash and bakes some short-breads for desert. Dad feels bad because he's all tapped out and can't afford a nice gift for the old lady who pretty much takes the brunt of abbuse 365 days a year ... drunken beatings, carrying him home from the pub on dart night and hauling his ass out of the klink after a good old fashioned soccer brawl or six. So as a present for his dear old gapped-tooth - hooked backed missus, dad dresses up as Santa covers mom's backside in spam and lays a good old fashioned Christmas ass banging on her ... balls-deep.
Of course in the British tradition of not really being too overly affectionate or loving ... its almost always a quicky over the kitchen counter or table while mom continues with the meal with her housedress thrown up over her head.
Made popular in the early 1960's in the Nottingham and Worcester regions.
Also popular in Leeds where dental hygiene is so poor oral sex is virtually impossible.
Although she never really liked to let on to her husband that she liked it ... Ann looked forward to her Christmas Spam every year.
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A Blue Star is the act of wrapping elastic bands (preferably using heavy-duty industrial sized elastics) around ones penis and testicals tight enough for the testicals to turns blue. Then the testicals are inserted in a female or male's (depending on preference) anus (brown star).
Great for use use during marathon sex sessions when the male (giver) can no longer achieve an erection and anal intercourse is desired. Or in cases where someone has an extremely small penis and anal intercourse is desired, where the female or male (receiver) can not achieve desire from the other partner's penis due to its size.
User warning ... prolonged use can created permanent blue balls or even worse dead balls.
My home-boy Johnny Z. was macking this fat mexican bitch for about six hours and she just kept wanting more and more of his good thing. My muthafucka couldn't get it up anymore so he blue-starred taco-eating bitch.
Johnny eyed up a bunch of ugly Indian bitches and said to his buddies, "Hey what do I care my dick doesn't have eyes. I'll blue star them whores."
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A Couvré is a great black hairy bush that spans from belly button, down through the female genetally, around the back to the top of the ass.
The Couvré although a French term is most prevalent in women from the Southern hemisphere ... Brazil, Mexico and Argentina. It is also widely found in Middle Eastern women and women in the Outback in Australia. As well as Nuns.
Basically the couvré grows in like a fur diaper and covers the entire pelvic region. Unless kept clean (which is extremely tough to to do in summer months) the couvré can become extremely matted and funky smelling.
Couvré's have grown in cult status and have become quite popular in Welland, Ontario where the large predominately French male population ... raised on canal water and poutine love the greasy matted hair effect and smell emitting from their women.
Labby dated bitches from Niagara Falls to Dunnville but always goes back to those Rose City douche-bags and their big ole' hairy couvré's.
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It's when your girl has a bad case of hemoroids (beets) and can't have sex for a few days/weeks so you she sits down on a bucket of boiling water and vinegar and gives you a blow job. The boiling water and vinegar helps alleviate the pain of the hemoroids.
This technique was first practiced in the bedrooms of the beet farms in Bancroft, Ontario. Women worked hard in the fields sitting in the moist or dry dirt all day and hemoroids became a constant affliction. Their men came out of the fields hot and horny and wanting some loving which the women couldn't perform due to the hemoroids. In the 40's and 50's there was no hemoroid medications on the open market so women squatted over buckets of boiling water and vinegar to shrink their problems away. Thus came the idea of satisfying their men by performing fellatio while sitting on their buckets.
Earl got finished working a hard day in fields and Irma had a bad case of the hems so she performed the old "Bancroft Beet Farm" on him.
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A pickled tongue is used when you're banging a Rebbetzin (Rabi's Wife). The deal is this ... her family runs a deli and of course she works the business serving up chopped liver, gelfilte fish, nova lox and knishes all day long. Of course she's bored as fuck because her husband is busy doing bris's all day and worrying about money; that's why his hotty wife has to sling smoked whitefish all day long. He won't go down her of course because Jewish guys aren't into that and Jewish women usually have big bushes.
So her suitor visits her at the deli, while her father and all his old Jewish friends sit outside on lawn chairs talking about the holocaust and gazpacho soup ... the guy takes her in back throws her up on the meat cutter and goes down on her. Really thats what she wants because thats what the hubby won't do. When he's done tonguing around her tuchus (ass) and gives her a little potch (spank) or two he buries his pisk (mouth) into her snatch and eats it like a marrano (pig) until she plotz's (explodes).
This is where the pickled tongue comes in. So he doesn't get caught by her husband, her father or his friends he dips his tongue in brine (pickle juice) before he goes down on her and then rinses his mouth out with brine when he's down thus getting rid of any possible odour or after taste. He steps outside afterward thanks the old man for his smoked turkey and bison pastrami and the old fart has no idea that he just ate out his daughter like a vilde chaya (wild animal).
Jules was sneaking into Brighton Beach to the 110th Street Deli and eating out this little Jewish bitch every Friday. Just so he wouldn't get caught he gave it the old pickled tongue.
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The acting of having sex doggy-style while inserting fifty (50) hard-boiled eggs into the ass of your partner. Much like Paul Newman eating 50 eggs in the movie Cool Hand Luke upon George Kennedy making a bet that his "boy Lukey" could eat 50 hard-boiled eggs. Another variation is actually eating the eggs while macking the partner from behind but who wants to do that when you can just jam them in her ass ... plus it's hard on the cholesterol count.
I banged that dirty jis-trap Nessy the other night and instead of sticking my thumb in her ass I gather her a Cool Hand Luke and stuck 50 hard-boiled eggs in her ace.
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