cheese ridge

The grooved area where the shaft of the penis meets the bell end, where dick cheese is commonly found.

The filthy bastard showed off his cheese ridge, which was laden with smegma.

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hedam

The stinky smegma that gathers on the cheese ridge of an unhygeinic cock. Pronounced 'he-dam', the word is a splicing of 'he' and that crappy wax coated Dutch cheese 'Edam'. aka dick cheese

He had enough hedam on his todger to spread on a whole packet of cream crackers, but he though that would be a waste.

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forescan

the male act of pulling back the foreskin (usually in a hurried trip to the bathroom) to scan the penis, checking that it is in suitable condition for anybody else to see it. A forescan can save sex lives.

Timmy knew that he was going to get some, so gave himself a quick forescan before making hs grand entrance.

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burkhaphobe

Someone who has an overwhelming fear of women wearing traditional Islamic dress i.e a burkha. This phobia usually stems from childhood, as burkha clad women look like the ghosts from pacman.

Tracy: "Stevey baby, I thought I'd wear something special for you tonight."
(Tracy enters bedroom)
Stevey: "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU SHEET WEARING SPAWN OF SATAN!!!"
(Stevey recoils in terror and bludgeons himself to death with the bedside table. He was clearly a burkhaphobe.)

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flaptulence

A pussy fart.

From Flatulence:
- The invisible stink cloud

And flap:
- From the lips that should not speak

My mum has flaptulence.

frigmarole

The burden of foreplay.

From rigmarole:
- a complex and sometimes ritualistic procedure

and frig:
- female masturbation

Do we have to go through this frigmarole every time we hump? Can't I just jam it in?

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