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The one I still love even after all has been lost
I should have written this when you still loved me; now it is only I who love
You are so strong; so many obstacles that you have overcome
The only woman I have ever loved who loved me back⦠and such love
My soul mate; my one chance at happiness
From the first moment I saw you on Easter Monday in that parking lot my breath was taken away; I can still see it and itâs nearly been a year.
We drank coffee, we walked and we shopped; it was like nothing I had ever imagined, so natural, so right. Such a beautiful first date
Your inner beauty as well as your appearance; your intelligence, your humour, everything truly indescribable
I didnât write this when we were together because no words can describe my feelings for you; I am still struggling now. You are amazing.
You deserve the sweetest poetry, the most beautiful song. Every flower, every song bird in the world pales even next to your reflection.
How can I describe you or my feelings about you; I have tried and all I have done is pushed you away. I have made so many mistakes; I have run out of chances but the loss⦠the loss is eternal.
I failed to be truly honest with you; I should have told you how much I was still in love with you when I had the chance. The risk of losing you from my life altogether, of losing you as my friend held me back. It was the wrong choice as I have lost you now. I have lost me.
We should have done so much more, made so many more memories. We both should have tried so much harder.
We should have met in the spring, so many things I wanted to share with you in the summer; but the summer is not ours
This is not what I wanted to write; it was never going to be enough anyway; you are beyond words.
Every part of me, the very fibre of my soul aches for you now.
If I only had one wish; it would always be you
I love you Kelly
I will always miss you
Sunday 10/01/2010
1556👍 763👎
Chalice Moon
My soul mate; my reason for being
The earth, the stars, time infinite
Everything that is beautiful, nature itself
My biggest mistake, my deepest regret
The loss
In all your guises, Chalice Moon I love
Monday 11/01/2010
227👍 49👎
Denial (psychological)
Denial consists of the refusal to accept a past or present reality and is most commonly employed to protect the host from their own negative traits; to protect them from the repeated memories of the negative actions of another or to avoid recognising their own guilt for past actions, thoughts or feelings.
It is a self defence mechanism employed by aspects of the subconscious mind in an attempt to protect emotional and psychological wellbeing.
Denial can be a scary and very sad thing to witness in someone that you love or care about; it is generally very difficult to help someone see the truth and especially for them to truly believe and accept that reality on a long term basis.
People deny responsibility every day for a number of things; but denial itself goes far deeper into the psyche than that. While people in denial generally still have the seed of truth still buried within their heads, they generally cannot believe that it is the truth even when confronted with it. This is due to the mind in effect rewriting or superimposing a more acceptable reality over the original memory.
Even with abject proof of an events occurrence, someone in denial is highly unlikely to fully accept the particular reality that their mind has decided they cannot cope with. They are more likely in that instance to use projection or minimisation or to continue or revert back to being in full blown denial.
Are you in denial about your âability to give a shitâ?
Do you deny your cruel words?
Do you deny that you are selfish?
Do you deny that you are shallow?
Do you deny that you lied to me about love?
Do you deny any blame for your own actions?
Do you deny guilt for cheating with your mind?
Do you deny that you chose to go back there of all places just after my birthday to spite me and therefore met him out of your own negativity, selfishness and transference of trust issues?
Do you deny that the only person you will ever really care about is yourself?
12/05/2010
440👍 43👎
Projection (Psychological)
1) An unconscious self-defence mechanism characterised by a person unconsciously attributing their own issues onto someone or something else as a form of delusion and denial.
2) A way to blame others for your own negative thoughts by repressing them and then attributing them to someone else. Due to the sorrowful nature of delusion and denial it is very difficult for the target to be able to clarify the reality of the situation.
3) A way to transfer guilt for your own thoughts, emotions and actions onto another as a way of not admitting your guilt to yourself.
Projection (Psychological)
1) Believing that someone else does not like you when it is indeed you that does not like them. By projecting this onto another you ascribe the negativity of the thoughts/feelings onto them so your ego does not have to admit the deficiency of your own thought processes.
2) A person in a relationship meets someone else out of spite for their partner and then forms an attachment to the person they have met; they then accuse their partner of infidelity (or at least considering the idea) so that they do not have to admit to themselves or anyone else that they have already cheated in their own mind.
3) Repeatedly attacking someone with the ideas that they are: Cold, Arrogant, Selfish, Anti-social and Negative as a way of not admitting to yourself that these appear to be some of your most dominant traits.
4) Telling someone who is clearly in love with you that they are âunworthy of your loveâ. When in reality you have doubts within yourself that you are worthy of any love and due to this will attack and destroy any true love that exists towards and/or within you.
07/05/2010
852👍 56👎
Firstly, I am clearly no expert on the subject of love; it appears I am as far from it as possible.
However, hopefully I can still impart some wisdom here that may at the very least help me and hopefully help others find some clarity after the love has been lost.
The purpose of life (as least to me) is to find someone to share your life with; someone you can love who also loves you.
For many of us who have found and lost that for whatever reason; life itself can appear pointless.
I have loved and been loved once.
I miss the love, I miss myself, but most of all I miss Chalice.
When a relationship ends it can do a great deal of damage to one or both parties.
While this is often inescapable; there is a way to at least attempt to minimise the damage.
Communication:
One of the most important aspects of any relationship.
If you truly care about someone as you should still do if you were ever in love with them, you will make the effort to listen to them and to attempt to give them clarity.
It takes two people to love; it may only take one for love to be lost. While it may be easier to protect yourself by blaming the other person for everything that ever went wrong or if you are that way inclined even attempting to hurt them and hating them; that is never fair to yourself or to them.
I am sure this is not as easy at it sounds; but, unfortunately life wasnât meant to be easy.
Some people can quite easily replace the one they loved, this appears to be the easiest way to gain closure for that person, but it is also the easiest way to diminish the one who still loves you.
Someone who can love completely will make the effort to help someone that they have loved.
In this day and age unfortunately/fortunately a lot of communication is via text/messaging/email etc. While this allows people to be able to communicate easily, it also allows people to ignore communication altogether and leave the other party with no knowledge as to whether their message was even received let alone read.
As I have recently discovered, this lack of knowledge can create great confusion and self doubt.
If you consider yourself to be a decent human being, you should at least make the effort to try to explain your feelings (or lack of them) or at the very least tell the other party that you do not wish to ever hear from them again.
Ignoring or blocking is rude, selfish and shallow.
This may appear to be attacking; however, it is simply my point of view at this time.
My love will never read this as she did not read other words. Perhaps for all I know now, she never did listen to or respect me at all. Right now that is all too easy to believe. Out of respect for her and myself however; I still believe that the love we shared was true and beautiful. I need to believe that.
Love Lost
Monday 18/01/2010
373👍 71👎
A strong name for a strong woman
A Sandra, especially one born under the star (sun) sign of Aries tends to be intelligent, witty, extremely open, honest & passionate and will do whatever it takes to uphold her morals. While these are extremely admirable traits, they also mean that they should never be crossed. Hope you are paying attention, you have been warned!!
On the flipside, if you do the right thing (and why wouldnât you?) a Sandra will go out of her way to make your life beautiful.
While fiercely independent, a Sandra has both a strong sense of community and family and will do whatever it takes (regardless of personal cost) to defend and protect those that she cares about.
Do yourself a favour â find a Sandra; stocks are limited and they are (rightly so) in high demand.
Need a friend?
Look no further than Sandra
Sunday 28/12/2008
6221👍 1478👎
The meaning of life is a subjective question perhaps. The answer may vary from person to person to aardvark to flower.
How you live your life as a sentient being is perhaps more relevant than what purpose does life itself serve.
There are few guarantees in life and to assume that any answer to any question is correct is arrogant folly.
âThe only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothingâ â Socrates
However everyone is entitled to an opinion. Here is mineâ¦
The meaning of life is.... life
Life is the most amazing thing; it is something that we take for granted because we do not know any better.
If we could understand just how surreal the whole concept of life is - we would surely implode or just fade away into insanity.
Hold your hand up in front of your face, wiggle your fingers - do you understand how beautiful, bizarre and amazing the whole concept is?
Take a walk outside look at anything, listen to everything, touch something, smell the soil, taste the air - these are not things you should be able to do - you should not exist.
Life is not something that should exist; it does not make sense, it cannot be explained rationally.
Life is enjoyed in the simplicity, the natural beauty of nature and emotion
Life is hard, life is oh so painful.
But... life is beautiful; without life there is no love.
Without love there is nothing.
Therefore the meaning of life is life, because without life there is no love
Love is all - cant you feel it?
Tuesday 12/01/2010
972👍 147👎