rubrik

A small growth on gooch caused by excessive rubbing of the lower pipe-shaft

All that action last night has given me a right old rubrik

Glitoris

When you can't be arsed to glue on your vajazzle, so you just dip your fanny in glitter instead.

Gimme two minutes, I've just gotta slap some glitoris on my front bottom.

precipit

The morning dew that temporarily bifurcates a gentlemen's stream, causing it to sprinkle either side of the lavatory

"Sorry about the seat love, I wasn't expecting the precipit"