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Random
When everywhere you look there are cats.
When he walked into the cat lady's house, there were contented cats lying about on every surface. He felt like he had purripheral vision.
Having 100% European ancestry.
Hey, I just got my DNA test back. I was kind of hoping for something a bit exotic in the mix, but I am Puropean. Completely white bread, man.
When listening to someone makes you ill.
I am so talk sick after listening to the president prattle on and on about nothing.
A person who rides their bicycles on sidewalks.
When you're walking in Portland, watch out for pedalestrians on the sidewalks or you will get run over.
The company of people in a grumpy mood.
Grumpy people that you are forced to be around.
"Oh, dude, you would not believe how hard it was too hang out with those guys after they lost the game. Some seriously low spirits there, bro. They were some bad grumpany."
Spiritual insight that comes while swimming.
Swimming always brings me closer to my higher power, so I must be clairbouyant.
When all of the fun has been taken from life.
After my breakup with Peanut and losing my dearest turtle, Fenwick, I felt like a cosmic surgeon just given my life a funectomy.