quickmath

Mathematics done with a focus on speed of calculation rather than accuracy. This change in priority often results in wild approximations and unvalidated assumptions, leading to low quality answers. Often used in rough-work to check previously calculated answers, or in physics-related pub arguments.

See also, napkinmath.

Red: Quick! How much worse would it be for Venus to crash into the Earth than Mars?

*pause for quickmath*

Blue: Well, Venus has twice the radius, and it's a volume, so... 8. It would be 8 times as bad.
Red: Wow. Science is awesome.

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change rape

Repaying a debt using the dregs of your wallet.

Simon: Hey. Have you got the money you owe me?
Josh: Sure do.
*empties shrapnel from wallet onto table*
Simon: Aww. Change raped.

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gin rape

The act of buying someone a gin and tonic when they didn't want one, preferably with their own money.

Thom: Hey, Josh, it's your round. Fetch me another pint!
Josh: Sure thing!
*returns with G&T*
Josh: GIN RAPE!
Thom: Aww.

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