Christing Off

Born again christian who talks about nothing other than Jesus Christ.

1) Frank: "Where is John today?"

Bill: "John is at church Christing off"

2) "The Jehova Witnesses came to my house this morning, and were Christing off"

3) "Stop Christing off Father Malone!"

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dodik

David Vayman/Bird that does not fly

Daves such a dodik.

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Universe

According to Monty Python (in The Meaning of Life):
The Universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
in all of the directions it can whiz
as fast as it can go
(that's the speed of light you know!
12 million miles a second- and that's the fastest speed there is.)
So just remember next time you're feeling very small and insecure
how amazingly unlikely is your birth.
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'cause there's bugger all down here on earth!

Something to Ponder: If the universe is expanding, the where the hell is it expanding into?!

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Lawn job

When some trim a man pubic hair and then proceeds to blow them.

Dude I’m going to my buddy’s house to give him a lawn job.