D.C. Metro

The most piece of shit mass transit system ever erected by the U.S. government. It not only runs late and is unreliable on every aspect whatsoever, it smells like garbage and you might get tetanus or AIDS just by sitting or holding on to the rails inside the car.

The stations have racist cops, their escalators never work, and when operating it sounds like an elephant getting smashed by a garbage truck. The stations are never air conditioned despite bragging about having installed new ones. Their also frequently visited by ugly people.

Some violent incidents and grievances occur on the Metro on a daily basis. These include drivers leaving the wheel and fighting the passengers, hobos stabbing people randomly, and gays obnoxiously bragging about the pointless shit they buy at the Georgetown Banana Republic.

Also expect to wait 20 to 30 minutes for a train. You can check when a train is coming by the oh-so-efficient new Metro app except it doesn't fucking work, 'cause there is never service!

Due to high crime rates and drug trafficking, D.C. Metro no longer offers services to Northeast D.C., mainly the Howard/Shaw stop.

Washingtonian 1: "Hey why hasn't the train arrived yet? I've been standing here for 45 minutes. And the person next to me smells like shit."

Washingtonian 2: "What are you, fucking retarded? You're using the D.C. Metro to get to work?"

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