baseball

It's a fun game just to watch and play, and losers with no friends tend to overanalyze the game by citing obscure statistics, like ops.

Fan 1: So who's gonna win today? The White Sox or the Yankees?
Fan 2: The Yankees seem superior on paper, but White Sox sluggers have a .97% greater chance of stealing bases against right-handed starting pitchers on Tuesday day games...

78👍 135👎

SAT 2

The SAT II, or SAT 2, or SAT Subject Tests, are like the SAT except they claim to test specific knowledge, like Spanish or more complex math. More and more bullshit to waste your money and make sure you don't get into a good college.

SAT: Literature
SAT: World History
SAT: French with Listening

103👍 25👎

xtreme

This can describe anything in any positive way, really. It just sounds really dumb, and if you use it in any context, everyone who hears you will assume that you're an emotionally handicapped chimpanzee.

That bagel is xtreme!
That lightbulb is xtreme!
That pair of shoes is xtreme!

112👍 31👎

Tom Brady

Quarterback for the New England Patriots, he's a decent player. Like the rest of the team, he puts up pretty good numbers but nothing fantastic. He is not one of the best QB's in football; he just happens to QB the best team in football.

Peyton Manning > Tom Brady
Donovan McNabb > Tom Brady
Daunte Culpepper > Tom Brady
Brett Favre > Tom Brady
Trent Green > Tom Brady
Michael Vick > Tom Brady
Ben Roethlisberger > Tom Brady
Byron Leftwich > Tom Brady

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wustl

See Washington University in St. Louis.

There's really only one example of WUSTL, and it's Washington University in St. Louis.

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Washington University in St. Louis

University in St. Louis, Missouri that claims to be on par with Harvard because the administration does everything in its power to boost its ranking in the US News and World Report. It has successfully fooled many people into believing that it offers a top-notch education. Everyone but employers and grad schools, that is.

So what you have to flip burgers at Burger King? You can impress everyone with your prestigious degree!

190👍 764👎

derek jeter

Extremely overrated shortstop for the New York Yankees - although he's a very good hitter (for a shortstop), he's pretty bad defensively and is waaay overpaid, even by baseball's exorbidant standards. He's baseball's equivalent of Tom Brady.

Wow! He had a .500 slugging average and drove in 100 RBIs ONCE! He almost hit 25 homers a couple of times, and he's never struck out 150 times in a season! What a fantastic player! Scott Brosius also won all of those rings! Scott Brosius is the second-greatest player ever!

125👍 196👎