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cooter carrier

One hundred percent of women and all the bearded effeminates slowly replacing the real men of the world. Cooter carriers either can't grow a pair (literally, in the case of females) or had their balls busted during adolescence. Cooter carriers lack manly attributes such as courage, humor, a sense of justice and fair play, and the ability to withstanding pressure in adverse situations. Only real men have these traits.

Their biggest fear is how others will perceive them which constantly keeps them on the edge. That's why all the cooter carriers herd together on Instagram, liking each other's frivolous posts. Because they're too damn scared to live alone. Real men like me never give a fuck what others are thinking about us.

Cooter carriers like to constantly whine, complain, and assail you when they have the numbers to back them up.

If all else fails, they will give you the silent treatment. They started the whole #metoo nonsense framing innocent men for acting on their sexual impulses.

Cooter carriers openly hate us men for being men, but secretly admire our manliness. Why not - manliness is next to Godliness, and so every cooter carrier wants to be just like us. They burn with penis envy. Sorry for you beautiful gals and their unmasculine pals, you're all called pussies for a reason. The Lord created you that way because He is a Man and we real men are the only chosen ones who've been made in His divine image.

Female Boss, "I told you to get the payment refunded to our client by Friday-end. What happened? He just sent me an angry email threatening to sue our company."
Real Man employee: "Have you seen all the chat messages I left you? I even scanned the 4-page refund letter and converted it to a PDF file. All you had to do was digitally authorize the payment."
Female boss: "Oh,,,,oh. My phone's not working. You should have sent me that in person."
Real Man employee: "I would have if I knew where to find you."
Female boss: "OK...whatever. Be more careful next time."
Real Man employee: "I will. Now get lost you cooter carrier."
Female boss: "What did you just call me?"

---

Me: "Wow, that's a hot girl. Damn check the rack on that one. Missionary would be too nice for her. I just want to do her doggy style, put my hands down the front of her cooter, and slowly move my palms to squeeze her tits..."
Bearded Mangina : "Dude, that's not cool. You're doing so much objectifying here. Women are equal to us men in every way. The way you described that person is abominable. You should never demean women but should always esteem and protect them. And 'cooter' - that's such a disrespectful word. What you just did is called sexual harassment. You give the rest of us men a bad name."
Me: "Shut the hell up, you cooter carrier."

by Third World Sam March 10, 2023

26πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


Eurofucked

When you go broke in Europe as a non-European Union (EU) traveler, after spending your absolutely last Euro coin on hookers and sex.

1. "My Europe vacation has come to a close. I don't have any money left. I'm Eurofucked."

2. ME: "You degenerate moron. Burning our savings near Amsterdam's red light windows wasn't enough for you. You gave our last few remaining Euro coins to that washed-out, obese, Euro Trash whore. Just for a blow-job, you say? Fuck you."

Friend: "It's called being Eurofucked, man. You think I flew all the way to Europe for the museums and shit? Nothing else matters when you're getting laid every day. Stop bitching about the Euro money. It's not even a real currency, looks like plastic."

Me: "Fuck you. How do you propose we get to Schiphol airport, now, huh? To take our return flight...H.O.M.E. To the non-European lands whence we came."

Friend: "I don't know. Walk all the way? Hey, can I borrow your iPhone?"

Me: " Why?"

Friend: "On the way to the airport, we might get lucky one more time. Think about the possibilities. It could be a FOURSOME with two depraved sisters. We can then use that iPhone as a mode of payment for casual sex."

Me: "Mmm.....You have a point. I can always buy a new phone. Let's go fuck some more European bitches."

Friend: "You're coming around, finally! Apart from my passport, I don't want any possessions on me when I got on that return flight."

Me: "True. We both want to get...."

Me and Friend together: "Eurofucked. YAY!"

by Third World Sam May 20, 2022

15πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


arsetralia

A continent-sized landmass south of the equator, pretty far from anywhere actual human beings live. It's where Mother Earth expels its excrement as this landfill is located literally on its arse bottom. Filled with kangaroos, koalas, dingoes, poisonous snakes, and nothing much of importance.

Also known as Van Diemen's Land.

INCORRECT SPELLING: Australia
CORRECT SPELLING: Arsetralia

Guess what I'm flying to Perth next month.

You mean Perth, Scotland?

No. Down under -- Arsetralia.

by Third World Sam April 10, 2022

63πŸ‘ 4πŸ‘Ž


Le fucked

When you're fucked over badly, because things went awry. You were totally out of luck. The "le" has nothing to do with French language. It only is used for emphasizing how badly you were screwed.

I landed in Berlin, and someone stole my wallet. It had my credit cards, phone numbers, and guess what, even the passport. I am truly le fucked.

What a day! I got fired from my job, and my wife left me. And the dog's missing. I am le fucked completely.

by Third World Sam February 2, 2024


Cousin fucking

The most popular pastime in Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Georgia, Oklahoma, Tennessee, West Virginia, and other parts of the Hillbilly South. Possibly Utah and Colorado too, but what the Mormons do behind closed doors is kind of unclassified. While you could fuck your cousins pretty much anywhere, even in California or New York, the flyover country has elevated it to an art form.

Crystal is a true born-and-bred Alabama girl. Although she lives in sunny California, she can't wait for Christmas vacations to visit her Deep South male cousins. All of them look forward to their turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, and cranberry sauce, with plenty of moonshine and Banjo music. But the real main event is some deep-throated cousin fucking. Crystal actually hates gangbangs unless it involves all her favorite cousins.

"Thanks for inviting me on this road trip. Where we goin', playa'?"

"Alabama. I got family there."

"Do you have any hot, attractive cousins?"

"Hell yeah. How did you know that one? How about you?"

"You told me once. As a matter of fact, I have fam in Alabama too. All female cousins."

"That sounds terrific. Know what I'm thinking, bruh?"

"Of course, I know it. Let's do it, man."

"Let's do some cousin fucking"

"Just to be clear though. You fuck your cousin, and I do mine. Okay? We stay in our respective lanes."

"No problem, bro. Your cousin belongs to you and is off limits to me."

( fist bumps. Both boys singing "Sweet Home Alabama")

"What does that street sign say?"
"A.I.C.F. 5 miles."
"What does A.I.C.F. mean?"
"Alabama Institute of Cousin Fucking."

by Third World Sam December 19, 2024


non-writer

A mediocre, unimaginative person who can't write their way out of a wet paper bag. The medical condition is called Dysgraphia. If you've ever worked at advertising agencies, academic institutions or content marketing teams, you'd know who these people are. Non-writers are easily identified by their linear patterns of thinking, a complete inability to vary syntax, and an endless self-struggle with using the right adjective. They may apply all the cosmetic glow to their substandard, pathetic excuse of a writing but just one glance at those run-on sentences, and you'd know these people are just not meant to write anything important or complex.

By some quirk of fate, talented professional writers end up in the same team as these non-writers. In the eyes of management, they are the same as you, and are qualified to the same rates of pay. When that happens, you have no choice but to suffer their severe incompetence and bruised egos. Despite being embarrassing failures, non-writers are not open to constructive comments and edits.

The invention of AI writing tools has come as a boon to these non-writers. At least now they can hide their dysgraphia. But the lack of freshness in writing remains a permanent question mark on their skills and capabilities.

Me: "Who wrote this blog post?"
Management: "Our new hire, Tanveer."
Me: "I'm sorry. Have you seen the adverb overload on this one? This looks like the work of a non-writer. This Tanveer or whatever should look for an alternative occupation. I can't think of a less capable person to be writing our blog posts."
Management: "Perhaps you're right. But you need to find a way to adjust around this non-writer. Why don't you just correct his mistakes, and no-one has to know! That's why we hired you anyway."

by Third World Sam March 13, 2024


United Niggerdom

The real name of United Nations, and all its sister agencies. Everything it stands fior is a scam and a lie.

The U.N. is only concerned with taking care of all the negroes and negrrsses at the expense of hardworkjng non-nigger humans. No one cares for the U.N. except African countries, and other niggerfuxated nations such as Haiti.

1. The United Niggedom is as it again. It wants U.S to pay $100 billion in reparations to all the negroes and negrrsses of Africa, supposedly for slavery. Fuck 'em.

2. I can no longer afford housing in New York City. I wish they cleared that little waterfront property called United Niggerdom. We need more highrise tenement complexes. Enough of suited niggers lecturing me how much money they're owed in reparations.

by Third World Sam November 30, 2024