Seinfeld

The only show in the history of man where you have to watch it to get the funniness of the jokes.

Kramer: Hey you want a Junior Mint?
Jerry: No I'm good.
Kramer: C'mon they're chocolatey and refreshing. They're delicious!
Jerry: No!
Kramer: (hands one to Jerry and it falls into guy getting operated on).

That joke might not have seemed funny here, but if you watch it you'll laugh your fucking ass off. It's the perfect example of a Seinfeld joke.

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Titties

Make the world go round

When I was a baby I was suckin on titties
Now that I'm older still suckin on titties
Different titties- but titties nonetheless
First thing I do when a girl undress

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Discrimibate

When you only jack off to one race.

Kim Kardashian discrimibates to black guys.

Passion Pit

1. A band that some of my friends like. It's main appeal to them is that no one's heard of it.

2. See: Vagina

1. My friend: Have you heard the new Passion Pit?
Me and 90% of the world: What the fuck is Passion Pit?

2. Bob nailed Susie in the Passion Pit until she cried.

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December 22 2012

The day you'll regret spending your kid's college fund on hookers.

December 22 2012 will be a day of reflection.

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Frontin'

How Kanye West says exaggerating.

Jamaal: The day after I scored 80 points in Game 7 of the NBA Finals, I killed Hitler and discovered the cure for cancer.
Me: Wow, really?
Jamaal: Naw, I'm just frontin'.
Me: Stfu. Just because you're black and you say frontin', it doesn't mean your Kanye West.

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North Carolina

The 12th state to ratify the constitution. Has some big cities, like Greensboro (the best one), and Charlotte, and lots of smaller towns in the country. College basketball is the main sport, because schools like Duke and UNC are consistently successful. The ONLY state in America where you can visit the mountains, beach, and city in the same day. You can't call us rednecks- I mean cmon we have an NBA team. Also pretty kickass climate-wise because I can wear shorts year-round.

If you went to any of the states that border North Carolina (Virginia, Tennessee, and especially South Carolina), you'd get your ass on the soonest flight back.

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