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A. The main language spoken in the British Isles, the USA, Canada and Australia.
B. A person who comes from England. There are 4 main types of English person:
1. The Posh Nob
The steroetypical english person who died out in the 1800s. Typically seen as well spoken, wearing a bowler hat and moustache, and swiping away poor people with his cane.
2. The Farmer
Typical of most rural places in England. Normally an overweight middle-aged man wearing dirty overalls and a straw hat. Most common phrases are "Ooo-ar!" and any swearword concievable. Not as gentle as they look.
3. The Chav
A growing breed of English person. Loud, aggressive, obsessed with their looks and becoming a 'gangsta'. Normal IQ is about 31. Reproduces at an alarming rate.
4. The Non-English English Person
That asian bloke who runs the Off-Licence.
For any American readers there is an easy way to tell the difference between the English, Irish, Scottish and Welsh. This is vital if you wish to tour the UK in one piece:
1. Irish people get drunk and fight each other.
2. English people get drunk and shag each other.
3. Welsh people get drunk and shag sheep.
4. Scottish people get drunk and fight each other. Then they sober up and continue to fight each other.
English Type 1. "I say ol' chap, that's just not on - what what?"
English Type 2. "'Ere, I 'eard them fucking Polish are movin' down ar way . . ."
English Type 3. "Yerwot M8?! Come over 'er and say that yer fuckin' wanker!"
English Type 4. The non-American version of Apu from the Simpsons.
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A person who does not fit in with most of mainstream society because of their apperence (usually glasses, zits, allergies etc.), interests and behaviour, but have a high amount of kowledge in things not always considered 'cool' i.e. anime, warhammer, dungeons and dragons.
Contrary to rumour nerds often have quite good social skills, but only within their own circle of friends. They are usually happier than average because they are less worried about conforming to the majority.
Not to be confused with the geek.
A geek discovered a use for electricity. A geek invented the computer. A geek invented the internet.
A nerd invented World of Warcraft.
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A geek is someone of high intelligence, which usually makes them outcasts of mainstream society. Although they share many traits with the nerd (lack of social skills, usually wears glasses, normally seen on the computer etc.) the main difference is IQ. Nerds are normally of average or above average intelligence, while geeks are often significantly smarter. Geeks also have more mainstream interests i.e physics, maths, chemistry
Geeks are sometimes described as nerds with less social skills, although in some places this is the opposite way round.
Bill Gates is a geek. Geeks rule the world. Don't tread on them.
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Someone with ginger/'orange' hair.
Gingers and Redheads are not quite the same - red hair can range from strawberry blonde to auburn and is caused by and excess the pigment phaeomelanin. Ginger hair is often (but not always) a genetic mutation, hence the pale skin, freckles and sensitivity to light.
Thanks to South Park ginger people are often the butt of jokes, much like blondes. Like redheads they are thought to have fiery tempers. Unlike redheads they are also considered 'freaks'.
Ginger kids are not 'freaks'. But I'm a brunette, so I don't care that much.
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1. An expression referring to a certain person as being very cool and exciting. Normally said by teenaged boys trying to impress their friends and/or the 'cool' person to whom their are referring. Replace 'The' with 'Da'.
2. The reason America is currently in power.
1. "Dude! Stacey is Da BOMB!" (This statement must be accompanied with several gangsta hand gestures)
2. Clearly having The Bomb didn't stop George Bush.
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