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A smug, middle class, middle age, mainly female person. Found at the waters edge with their bucket (containing crocs, bright orange PE bag & waterproof camera for taking selfies in the sea)
Will be clutching a thermos & grinning wildly at the sky whilst typing "I feel so alive #wildswimming when the working class are at their pleb jobs"
Optional VW transporter nearby, or electric bike with panniers for draping a towel on. The most nauseating cretins on gods earth basically.
I met a total Dry Robe last night at Jons party, boasting about how efficient her new Philippino cleaner is at getting the sand out of the shower tray
It started when I was about 19, working behind the bar at a sports centre for a Young Farmers do. I served the guy with a pint, and he said:
âcan you fit a scotch in there?â
âYes sure, no worriesâ
âThen why canât you fill it up with beer?â
What a cunt. He got neither by the way, just a whispered âwankerâ into the top of his 7/8 pint of fosters.
Turn your back on the offending pisstank and whisper your worst barman's curse into the booze
After spending a huge amount of time and effort tending to your vegetable patch, it is time to harvest the spoils.
30 seconds of digging you find an abundance of carefully buried cat shits snuggled up next to your tubers.
Oh for fucks sake saggerz, all we have got is 300 pootatoes again.
A tiny penis that none the less sees a lot of action.
A Danish slang word, often heard shouted across the dancefloor at Copenhagen nightclubs.
'Oi love, look out, Mr Tiggle Wiggle is after you!'
That there Mr Tiggle Wiggle is out on the playing field again. He gets a lot of action considering his tiny stature.
A term harking back to the depths of the UK COVID Lockdown.
When trapped inside after contracting the dreaded lurgy, a Burger Lift is constructed from a length of climbing chord and a childs seaside bucket.
When a delivery from the local gourmet burger establishment arrives, the bucket is lowered down and the burger n chips is placed inside, then pulled up three floors to the hungry prisoner.
Up here mate - hang on a sec I'll just deploy the burger lift, I'm fucking famished!
After swearing that you are going to have a quiet night in, your mate with a Craft Beer problem turns up with a slab of cans. Next thing you know you are banging down the door of the local Jif Merchant looking for a bag of whiff.
Bollocks, Serious Neil arrived and I have suffered a severe Bend Turnaround. Looks like I will be having a cry wank at 5am again.
A woman who loves Teignmouth intensely and hates all other local towns, overlooking the shitness of her locale (mainly because she spends most of her time in a hedge staring at tiny lumps of animal/vegetable matter)
Check out that Noidinator lurking in that hedge, thinking of an excuse to not get up before noon and avoid the pub in Newton Abbot.