Jack and Jill off

A co-ed masturbation party at which the participants, as a rule, do not touch. These parties replaced orgies in the 80's when it finally dawned on the straight community that they were not immune to the AIDS virus.

-"We got our bottle of EZ-glide lube and the Mrs. and I are ready for tonight's Jack and Jill off! Wanna join?"

-"Man no way! That 'no lips below the hips' stuff is boring! I'll take a chance on a real orgy!"

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Holiday loser

One who, despite having an abundance of friends and family, finds himself inexplicably alone on major holidays (esp. at Christmas).

Damn, I should never have spent my last 500 dollars on that prostitute last week. Now I can't afford the airfare to go home for Christmas. I'm always such a holiday loser!

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