cathie

1) An antisocial hotty with a body. Too mellow to create or get lost in drama. Athletic/a gymnast, smart/wise, creative, open-minded, and hott; ideal. Also: silly, caring, considerate, daring, polite; liked by everybody.
2) A creative fiend, artsy, a thinker; is frustrating to others who don't understand her and/or can't get "with her."
3) Has a frightening willigness to attempt to make chloroform, despite not understanding the chemistry
4) Designs sexy themed lingerie and is damn good at it. Eg: Tennis, Dutch, hiphop, etc...

-Damn. she so crazy. and I can't understand her
-but she's hot, and imagine the gymnastic possibilities
-Damn. ::sigh:: the quandry that is crazy cathie
-indeed

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Meigs Gold

A variety of Marijuana grown primarily in Meigs County, Ohio. Perhaps the region's primary source of income, it is generally considered to be of fairly good quality, inexpensive, and plentiful. Were marijuana legal, Meigs Gold would be sold at Sam's Club.

After he switched from Maui to Meigs, Todd found he could make his house payments and have a little left over at the end of the month.

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Ohio State University

University in Columbus, Ohio. Aside from the distractions posed by its violent, ghetto atmosphere, it is actually possible to get a fairly good education from OSU. It offers a fairly wide spectrum of curriculum choices, and used to have some of the best professors around. (The quality of their professors is, sadly, degrading over time.) They also have a pretty good football program, for those with nothing better to do.

We're going to OSU to help the Buckeye fans beat the living hell out of the Michigan fans. Wanna come along?

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Christianity

A pyramid scheme based on a philosophy that was fairly progressive 2000 years ago. It has been rendered obsolete by modern scientific understanding largely due to its inability to resolve its inconsistencies through intelligently-applied critical thinking. It now serves as a means of deterring social and political advancement and as a tax on the gullible.

The christian-controlled majority in congress voted to withdraw federal funds to help support financially disadvantaged infants, reminding the public that the babies will go to heaven.

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television

The early 21st century drug of choice. A shared illusion, making its addicts think they have friends, a life, access to good information, and the critical thinking skills to form valid opinions. Fatal in large doses.

Paul spent the day eating Cheetos and watching Television, then had a light heart attack in the evening.

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Ohio University

Perhaps the only outcropping of enlightened intelligence in Southeastern Ohio, Ohio University is a state school capable of giving students of the hard sciences a better education than Ohio State University. However, its soft sciences are filled with students whose primary priorities consist of filling up on delicious malt beverages. It is the only place in Southeastern Ohio where a Jewish or Moslem person won't have to hide their identity. Known for a Halloween party that shuts down a large portion of the town and causes massive arrests of out-of-town Ohio State students.

No, that's Ohio University. Not Ohio State. It's down and to the right on your map. Yeah, your daughter got arrested there.

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talk radio

A means for the illiterate to acquire political opinions. Talk radio operates on the philosophy that a person should choose a side in political debates (usually either 'staunchly liberal' or 'staunchly conservative'), then incorporate that side into their personal identity. This frees them of the need to submit to bothersome processes like thinking for themselves.

Talk show enthusiasts can be identified by their dogmatism and easily excited sense of self-righteoous indignation.

Paul the burger flipper learned everything he knows from talk radio.

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