nedium

NEDIUM is a rare mineral only found in the shantytowns of SE Asia. When taken orally with water it will give a person the percieved ability to always be in the right.

It's known side effects are pronounced shrinking of the male genitalia, general grumpiness, enlarged vocabulary, grammatical imprecision, extreme superciliousness, the wearing of rough textured skirts and a penchant for half melted Toblerones.

My friend Balders took his daily dose of nedium and proclaimed that fish breath through air not water...given the power of this wonder drug I reluctantly had to agree with him...which, of course, made us both wrong...he then onzed a local Hublot wearing businessman for no apparent reason as is his way...

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burnanate

After a heavy sex session when a male splits his violin string (the small slither of skin that connects the protective hood of the penis to the glans) which in turn produces a burning sensation whilst urinating...

Jesus, my bell end is burnanate after doing Jessy -Lou up the wrong un last night!!!

Bell end violin string