Phantom Jobber

Someone who leaves the toilet in a mess. Normally by leaving sliding faece marks in the bowl. Occasionally they flush, sometimes they do not.

"You been to the shitter recently? The phantom jobber is back again, f**king skids everywhere"

7👍 1👎

Arse burglary

Obvious violation of the anus by voluntary and involuntary means.

Taken as a continuation of a quote from Monty from Withnail & I.

Man, when you go to jail, drop the soap, it can only mean a good case of arse burglary!

4👍 1👎

Cracker Island

A Gorillaz song of the same name referring to the UK and the influence of Brexit, political promises and hard-line 'breakers' forming the cult of the said island.

UK mate. No fruit, vegetables or fresh salad on the shelf. Lovin' the taste of Cracker Island.

UK supply chain crisis

Exact synonym for the 'successful' no downside of Brexit.

Simon: Deary me old bean. Empty shelves again in Tesco. I loathe this UK supply chain crisis. How could it happen when we took the power back keeping all the foreigners and immigrants out.

Peter: Well my old plumb duck, it's a case of Brexit. You see the EU workers were the drivers we were trying to keep out, taking our jobs. But their jobs were actually ones we couldn't replace in the UK supply chain crisis. They were paid not even a pigs ear and treated like a sty. So when we're down 100,000 HGV drivers and Boris says we'll have it sorted it, we have just 2,000 army truck drivers driving by and then we'll see the pigs, or in this case gammon fly.

flagshit

The finest, largest, or most important one of a group of divisive populist nationalist things (e.g. TV programmes, columnists, pundits, etc.) — often used before another noun

'Andrew Neil's flagshit show on GB News'

2👍 1👎

COVtard

Conjugation of COVID19 and a retard. While a COVidiot is someone who knowingly spreads a fatal virus, a COVtard is reckless and likely psychopathic that they are right doing a life endangering action. Examples include brushing and bumping into people with sweaty skin in the street, wearing headphones and doing a video call while walking around a country in lockdown near missing and bumping into people, to wiping sweat off after exercise and throwing it on a path where children are walking.

Tony: Look that sweaty cyclist just nudged and bumped a mom with her kid with his sweat.... gross.

Abi: Total COVtard.

4👍 11👎

Dirt Pasty

Another word for human or animal defecation - shit.

"Your mate Pete's left another dirt pasty in the oven"

"Man your Girlfriend can bake a dirt pasty. Took me 4 hours to scrub the shitter clean"