torchwood

1. An incident where your dick is inserted into a woman infected with STD's and you get burned.
2. The act of burning one's penis, frequently occuring where naked men cook their meals on open flames (are pork products in these locations so scarce?).

The torchwood affair only lasted a few minutes but left him burning from desire.

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schlongitude

1. The length of a man's penis.
2. A big dick.
3. The attitude expressed by someone who is a big dick.

Man, why are you gettin' all up in my face with that schlongitude, put that thing away before you hurt someone why don't you.

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