MONHS

the "man of numbers has spoken"
It's a slightly snarky reply to someone who shows off their math and calculus dexterity against us lowly peons who can barely balance a checkbook.

Him: You calculated the square root of 12 incorrectly.

Me: But of course I did. Because the MONHS

WTFGAL

What the fuck - Get A Life
Also a variant with "Oh" in front (ie: OWTFGAL)
Said in reply to some ridiculous news piece or current rage that is a total waste of time.

Today's news headlines includes a story about the fate of Gary, Carrie Fisher's dog.

OWTFGAL. I love pets, please *please!*