faillapalooza

A epically pitiful, sad and lame organized event attended and appreciated by loooosers.

Steve's high school birthday parities were always epic faillapaloozas where a few losers giggled over a single can of beer, his dad's old Victoria'a Secret catalog and ultimately spent most of their time mass debating over PC vs Mac OS.

The company Christmas party is a faillapalooza for reluctant department heads & their sycophants.

lola day

After enough strange days a normal day seems strange when the strange days seem normal.

Bob: This is the first normal day after the chaos of the holidays/wedding/hospital stay/house fire/work re-organization and it seems... weird.
Jane: It's a lola day.

4👍 2👎

Pity City

An imaginary destination where everyone sincerely cares about your sad sack story.

Awwww... I'm so sorry your girl/boy friend left you for your sibling. Please allow me to buy you a TS ticket to Pity City where we can sit for hours while I listen to your whole sordid life story of woe. No. Reeeealy!

9👍 7👎

girl minute

equal in time to about ten, maybe fifteen, guy minutes.

Baby, yelling from the bedroom walk-in closet "I'll be ready in just a minute, Honey"
Honey, sitting on the living room couch for the last half hour deleting things from his cell phone "K, Baby. Is that a girl minute or a boy minute?"
"Girl!"
Honey turns on the TV, kicks up his shoes on the coffee table, throws the remote to the other side of the couch.

13👍 2👎

library effect

The excited need to poop stimulated by perusing the library.
This effect may be observed at any any favorite store or place.

After a few minutes of looking at (whatever) the library effect kicked in sending Steve to the bathroom.

3👍 3👎

vampire tits

Breasts so unattractive they should never see the light of day.

Steve vurped when she removed her bikini.
"Vampire tits!" he thought, as he turned off the merciful lights.

1👍 4👎

TS Ticket

Tough Sh!t Ticket (archaic). An imaginary/facetious "ticket" (as in train ticket) to someplace that doesn't exist, like Pity City. Essentially meaning "too bad, so sad, you ain't getting what you want, I am unsympathetic to your dilemma or plight".

Alternatively, some sort of financial aid or assistance for those experiencing hard times, like food stamps or WIC vouchers.

Awwwww. I'm so sorry your girl/boy friend is sick and you failed your test. Here... Let me get you a pair of TS Tickets to Pity City and you two can have a good day.

4👍 3👎