gerk

v: the act of masturbating; wacking off; rubbing one out; punching the clown; choking the chicken; shaking hands with the unemployed; firing off some knuckle childreg; beating your fucking meat

Hey man, my mom caught me gerking last night with my sports illustrated for kids magazine on my bed.

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stiff wiggler

a boner or erection; an erect penis

Last night when my girlfriend took off her clothes I got a stiff wiggler.