Benatini

a cocktail of any variety mixed with Benadryl to increase the impact of the drink

I ordered a regular vodka martini (no olives), then added a cap-ful of Benadryl (grape flavor - YUM!) to make a Benatini. I drank it, and then I woke up here. Where am I?

hyperfoodilate

Inability to breathe due to overeating.

"I ate too much at the barbecue and now I have shortness of breath. I should have turned down dessert before it caused me to hyperfoodilate!"

self-crunchious

the awkward feeling when you are eating something very crunchy in a crowded but very quiet room

It is too quiet in here to eat carrots. It makes me feel self-crunchious.

truck buddy

A friend with access to a truck who will haul stuff for you when the need arises, no strings attached.

I need a load of mulch for my flower garden. I'll call my truck buddy Brent to take me to the nursery to get it in his pick-up!

Silence of the Spams

The long silence you hear when you answer your phone, thinking it is likely a work call, before the spammer actually clicks onto the call to sell you something you don't want or need.

Phone rings.

I answer.
Me: "Hello."
Silence
Me: Hello?
Silence
Silence
Spammer: "Hello, is this Ms. (mispronounces my name)? How are you today?"
I hang up.

Co-worker: "Who was that?"
Me: "It was the Silence of the Spams."

Fishford Wife

individual who neglects real life obligations and activities in order to care for a virtual fish tank and his/her menagerie of eFish in Fishville.

I had to pick up my sister's kids from school because she was busy feeding her species tank full of Blue Damsels in Fishville. She's a Fishford Wife.

ePETA

organization of people who advocate the fair and humane treatment of epets and other eanimals that virtually exist as Farmville livestock and Fishville fish.

My Fishville neighbor posted on my Facebook wall that my fish were starving, along with a frowning eclownfish.

He must be a member of ePETA.