thou

An incorrect chatspeak misspelling of the word though or "although"... the correct misspelling would be tho.

chatspeak makes me look uneducated, thou misspelling it makes me look unpopular as well.

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as per my understanding

this is a way of saying "I'm dumb" as you try not to sound dumb.

commonly used after making a large blunder - it can be used as a cover story for the error by adding ambiguity to the instructions.

Barber: yes ma'am, I shaved your head - As per my understanding, you wanted a "cool" haircut... that will be 20 bucks.

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