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whoppa

What New Englanders call a Whopper.

Ted Kennedy: "Ehhh, I'll have the Whoppa."

Cashier: "I think you've had enough, sir."

Ted Kennedy: "You shat your mouth, or I'll have you muddahd!"

by jvarna5 February 1, 2008

11πŸ‘ 12πŸ‘Ž


Butt Gorilla

The Butt Gorilla is a nocturnal primate who climbs into young boy's windows at nite, and commences to have butt-secks with them. His voice sounds eerily like...your Dad's.

Boy: "Dad, I had a nightmare that a man in a gorilla suit humped my butt. And it really hurts!"

Dad (With a twinkle in his eye): "Oh, that ol Butt Gorilla must've visited you last night! Now hurry up and put this dress on!"

by jvarna5 January 31, 2008

17πŸ‘ 9πŸ‘Ž


Cappuccino

Overpriced espresso beverage that usually has some artificial flavoring to take away the coffee taste. Be wary of loads of foam that tops it, or someone may think you've been giving BJs.

Chris:" What's in the Starbucks cup? Cappuccino?"

Jon: "Actually, the cup is empty. I just carry the cup around because it matches my emo glasses"

by jvarna5 January 28, 2008

13πŸ‘ 26πŸ‘Ž


Hobo Chili

Any combination of readily available ingredients stirred together in a pot or used soup-can over an open fire. Ingredients can include: Pigeons, fecal matter, babies, dogs, grass, fingers.

Best served with a vintage Merlot, but toilet wine will suffice.

Crazy Homeless man: "A dead hooker, three mice, and a used condom? Oh, it's Hobo Chili time!"

by jvarna5 January 30, 2008

43πŸ‘ 8πŸ‘Ž


cracklin

- Fried pork fat. Popular in the South.

- Tiny white people.

Keisha: "MMMmmm, I love me some cracklings!!" Chomp, Chomp.

Ray-ray: "Damn, ho! You keep eating those cracklings, and I'll be frying yo ass and sellin it!"

Terell: "Fuck, nigga! I had a dream that a hundred little cracklins tied me up and forced me to listen to Barry Manilow! Then they made me take out a high-interest loan!"

Bank: " That wasn't a dream. You're being evicted. Oh, I love Manilow!!"

by jvarna5 March 15, 2008

14πŸ‘ 13πŸ‘Ž


ghetto abortion

Drop-kicking a potential "baby-mama" down the stairs.

Keisha: "I ain't had no puriod yet, so you gon haf to take me to da woman clinic to get anotha abortion."

Terell: "That place is fo' rich-ass white folks! I'm takin you to tha Ghetto Abortion clinic!"

Keisha: "Where that is?"

(Terell leaps five feet in the air, delivers a swift kick to Keisha's forehead, which sends her down five flights of stairs)

Terell: "Aww, snap

by jvarna5 January 30, 2008

124πŸ‘ 34πŸ‘Ž


redneck riviera

The Mississippi and Alabama Gulf Coast that includes Biloxi, Gulf Shores, and Gulfport. The water tends to look like raw sewage and the air smells like sweaty tampons. The beaches are usually littered with broken beer bottles and old condoms. Fine dining along the beach consists of... a Waffle House.

Tyrone: "Where da hell you going in those confederate flag swimming trunks, T-Bob?!?"

T-Bob: "I reckon I'm going to Biloxi beach."

Tyrone: "That ain't no beach, you dumb cracka! That's just the redneck riviera!!!"

by jvarna5 January 27, 2008

103πŸ‘ 232πŸ‘Ž