girl on the internet syndrome

The tendency for male internet denizens to, in short, suck up to and give a lot of attention to females on the internet. This raises their chances of ever getting laid with said females by about 0.0%.

Symptoms of girl on the internet syndrome include making a big fuss when a person is found to be female, complimenting her every time she posts a picture, regarding her as a quality poster in a forum even if she isn't, giving her mindless attention, denying having girl on the internet syndrome, making sexist jokes so as to "prove" no preference toward internet females, annoying women, asking women to be e-girlfriends, alienating women, asking for nude pics, and wondering why women don't seem to be on the internet that much.

Person 1: OMG, a girl on the Internet! I better respond every time she posts a pic of herself by saying she looks pretty. Maybe I'll get into her pants!

Person 2: dude, you have girl on the internet syndrome.

Person 1: no I don't! Women belong in the kitchen.

Person 2: uhh, OK.

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campy

Something that is completely cliche and artificial and exaggerated, as if ripped straight from a movie. Usually (but not always) "campy" is used to describe dialog that sounds cheesy and scripted.

Person A: Thank you so much!
Person B: Any decent person would have done it.
Person A: Then I don't know any decent people.
Person B: You do now.
*They kiss*
Person A: Wow... that was so campy.

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Shostakovich

Probably the most hardcore classical composer to live. You think your screamo shit is "hardcore?" Then you have not heard of Shostakovich and your opinion is invalid.

Shostakovich was a genius who lived under the oppressive watch of the USSR; as a result, Shostakovich composed some of the most frightening music ever conceived by man.

His Symphony No. 5 and Symphony No. 10 are (arguably) his most badass pieces.

Richard: I hate classical. It's fucking boring.
Mark: You have clearly never heard of Shostakovich.
*After listening to the "Allegro" from Symphony 10*
Richard: Dude, my mind is blown.

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russian suicide

An elaborate method of committing suicide (i.e. intentionally killing yourself), accomplished by shooting yourself 3 times in the back of your head then tying your dead body up in the trunk of a car.

Russian citizen: He got shot 3 times in the back of his head and they found his body tied up in the back of a car? I suspect foul play.
Putin: You are mistaken. Clearly is suicide. Russian suicide.

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tame the beast

for men: to trim one's facial hair; not necessarily to shave it, but keep it under control

for women: to clean up and shave one's pubic hair, perhaps into a landing strip or something cool like that.

My beard is a mess, I need to set aside a few minutes in order to tame the beast.

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Freudian text

1. Sending a text message to the subject of your text, instead of the intended recipient.

2. Texting someone what's on your mind, as opposed to what you meant to say.

1. Me (to Alice): "Hey John, isn't Alice is a real bitch?"
Alice: "...What the fuck?"
Me: "Oops, Freudian text."

2. Me (to Alice): "Fuck you, lying whore."
Alice: "What?!?!"
Me: "Oops, Freudian text."
Alice: "...Again?!"

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burnt sienna fever

A sexual fetish for Filipinos and indigenous Indonesians. A subset of yellow fever.

Person A: Is he really going out with her? She's not even that good looking.
Person B: Yeah, he definitely has burnt sienna fever.

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