pharmaceutical rep

a whore for the pharmaceutical industry peddling brand name drugs that are marginally better (if at all) and infinitely more expensive than generic drugs that have been available for decades.

The pharmaceutical rep came by the doctor's office to explain why patients' prefer a Cialis erection to a Viagra erection.

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rectophiliac

A person with an unusual affinity for another person's anus. Usually a male although it has rarely been reported among females. Idiomatically, it has become essentially a synonym for homosexual although it can be accurately applied to sodomizing heterosexuals.

Liberace was a musical rectophiliac.

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alter cocker

old shit or old fart. an old man who sits around grousing and complaining all the time.

That alter cocker was complaining about the pickles and now is whining about the chopped liver. He should up and die already!

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fibromyalgic

a patient who drives his/her doctor crazy.

One doc to another:

"What's up with Mrs. Jones?"

"Nothing. Just another fibromyalgic."

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Raynard's Syndrome

rare syndrome involving dramatic color changes of the scrotal sac from red to white to blue in any order. can be provoked by cold - or by exposure to reruns of Everyone Loves Raymond.

I was really concerned because my balls kept changing color but my doctor told me not to worry. I just have Raynard's Syndrome. He said I should keep my sac warm and protect it from Ray Romano.

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decubing

The act of sexual intercourse with a pressure ulcer, e.g. of a quadriplegic or a debilitated senior. Often occurring in a skilled nursing facility.

"That caregiver is giving Mrs. Jones in room 402-A a lot of special attention. I hope he's not planning on decubing her."
or
"Did you see the tight ulcer on that chick in the wheelchair? Man, I'm going decubing tonight!"

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colopharyngeal reflux

the reflux of colonic feces into the posterior oral cavity. it can be associated with shitzu - histologic changes of the pharyngeal mucosa suggestive of colon cancer. also known as shit in mouth disease.

I went to the doctor because my family was complaining of my bad breath. He diagnosed me with colopharyngeal reflux and prescribed breath fresheners to be used per rectum.

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