Stoichkov Syndrome

Affliction where one can walk into a situation completely unaware of the current state of play, and comment instantly, and often with great accuracy on present dealings.

In this situation (where Stoichkov Syndrome was first diagnosed), 3 people are discussing the European Football Championships, #2 and #3 have successfully named 15 of the 16 participating nations without naming any wrong teams, and #1 conducting the quiz presses them for the answer to the 16th (Bulgaria), offering a clue...

#1: "One of the greatest footballers of the past 20 years hailed from this nation."

#4: (joining the conversation from an entirely neutral standpoint, having only heard the clue offered)

"Stoichkov"

#2 and #3: "Bulgaria!"

#1: "Yes! Incredible!"

Platooned

To be so drunk that the next morning you will most certainly wake up feeling;

a) with no idea of your whereabouts

b) as if you've just been in a Napalm attack.

"Look at Burty go, he's getting Platooned tonight"
"Yeah, he'll definitely be waking up in Vietnam tomorrow".

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sausaged

Not as excessive as being platooned or burted, but to have one's insides slightly rearranged as a result of alcohol consumption, bodily abuse, violent behaviour or a combination of sorts.

"Burty woke up one morning, still in lanark, but quite definitely a little sausaged from last nights exploits."

"Chris ordered up a double, a little sausaged after the beating he had taken at rugby earlier in the day."

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