Monitor Stalking

Monitor Stalking – Someone who glances between two monitors but stares at each monitor in utter confusion while making it appear as though they are attempting to work.

Accountant 1 - I sure wish I had my bank statements.
Accountant 2 - For sure, it's too bad your accounting assistant suffers from monitor stalking.

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Sleeperunit

When your boss falls asleep during a meeting and wakes up periodically to contribute to the conversation (usually interrupting the conversation).

Employee 1 - Did you see our boss nodding off in training?
Employee 2 - Yeah, she kept interrupting the conversation, but I guess that's what happens when you're a sleeperunit.

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Fosterline

Software used to adopt children. (Subsidiary of Timberline).

Person A - You've been on the computer for awhile.
Person B - Yea, just been surfing fosterline. Lots of children to choose from.

Dephoned

When a phone company is not able to transfer old phone numbers to a new cell phone and you deliberately do not enter certain numbers in the new cell phone.

A - Hey, what's going on?
B - Who is this?
A - This is Mike.
B - Oh sorry. I dephoned you when I got my new cell phone.

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Text Tard

Someone owning a cellular device that knows how to retrieve and read text messages, but lacks the ability to send text messages.

A - I sent Bob a text the other day and he called me to answer my question.
B - That's because he's a text tard.

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