Drunk Luck

When a woman out of your league is inebriated enough to sleep with you.

Mark: Guys, guess what! I totally bagged Rebecca last night!
Dave: Was she shitfaced?
Mark: Yeah?
Dave: Talk about drunk luck!

10👍 6👎

Inigguration

The over-saturation of African American opinions and views about Obama's Inauguration.

Jeff: Why is everyone on television suddenly black?
Mark: I blame the Inigguration of Barack Obama.

24👍 5👎

Reverse Penetration

When a turd is large enough to cause pain while shitting.

Mike: You forgot to flush the toilet again.
That was one huge shit you took!

Shawn: That motherfucker hurt, dude.
Talk about reverse penetration!

15👍 4👎

Z2K9

New Year's Eve, 2008, when Microsoft's 30GB Zune player froze by the thousands, due to a faulty firmware update.

Rob: I just woke up, and my Zune is frozen!
Mark: Welcome to Z2K9.

47👍 20👎

Snot Abortion

You know when you try to sneeze, but fail, and then it's still stuck in your nose and you feel like you have to sneeze but can't? Yeah, that.

Gary: Fuck dude, I just had a snot abortion.
John: Aren't they a bitch?

3👍 2👎

Zucchini Weenie

An oversized penis.

"I fucked Matt last night and holy shit, he has quite the Zucchini Weenie!"

2👍 2👎

Harvesting Ass Pearls

The retrieval of broken anal beads from the rectum.

Katherine's anal beads broke off inside of her last night. We spent at least an hour Harvesting Ass Pearls.

9👍 4👎