Mastubate

(Also "mastubation.") Includes numerous possible epithets, in addition to the self-gratification *at hand*: having a short penis (stub), any number of handicaps or speech impediments producing the mispronunciation of masturbate minus the R sound, and lastly, a session of masturbation that was either too brief to be enjoyable or otherwise clearly less pleasurable than average. Could also refer to masturbating in the bath-tub, not necessarily an epithet.

1) "Hey, dickless over there is going home to MASTUBATE."
2) "Hey dopey, you gonna go home to "mu-mu-muh-mastubate?" (Mocking the slow kid.)
3) "Ugh, last night was a fail. After working up a decent hard-on by watching music videos, it ended anticlimactically with very disappointing mastubation." (This would be said with sadness, frustration, disappointment.)

4) Ah, what a lovely evening off she had with wine, candles, a bubble-bath, and her favorite: mastubation.

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